1st Blowjob - FEELS GOOD MAN

3,291,353 views

You know it's a hooker cause who else puts on a rubber just for s'ing some d? And you know it's his first time cause... well, just look at his face. Just one touch of his penis and he turns into Quasimoto with Asperger syndrome.

Uploaded 09/13/11 LULZ

funny, loser, noob, virgin, wtf

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Cum Haters Anonymous 5

Do I even need to release a service bulletin at this point? Ladies; Next time you feel like exploring your options, put in about 18 seconds of research and mAniFeSt what you're about to get into. Maybe then you'll discover something you all lack - coherence motherfuckers.

1,562,661 views 03/03/22 Cum Haters

Porn Star Goes Ballistic on Modern Feminists

Mercedes Carrera is hot and sucks a mean dick, but she's about to drop a big ass fuckin truth bomb on the problem with feminists, gamergate and all that shit.

2,030,216 views 02/15/15 Camwhores

Pet Ownership Gone Wrong

1 part Disney movie, 2 parts Carole Baskins. That was the plan up until Zazu used all of his Rosetta Stone credits on the Jack Sparrow of punani tsunamis. The result is an unexpected comedy duo, the likes of Seth Rogan would be hired to voice-over in the theatrical release. Why are the most important discoveries in life accidental?

2,052,916 views 05/02/20 Camwhores

Tits and Aspergers

A 25 year old boy suffering from both severe autism and chronic virginity has found hope in backpage.com. Will he finally lose his V-card?

2,964,220 views 07/02/15 Premature

World's 1st Cum Hating Pornstar

Aim for dry ground and let 'er rip. That's been the formula for centuries... until Krystal "i have standards" Steal showed up. You see, she has more apathy for body fluids than Paula Deen has for low fat potato chippies. Ever wonder what it would be like if KFC had an all-you-can-eat buffet? That's the kind of 'sounds fun but always ends bad' disappointment I'm talking about here.

1,669,766 views 09/24/17 LULZ

The Worst of OnlyFanz VI

I want to admire their passion, but the Jurassic Park remake around the 0:40 second mark is in severe danger of receiving a cease and desist. Discover more reasons to keep that $19.99 in your pocket every month [-HERE-].

864,332 views 06/01/23 The Worst of OnlyFanz

THAT DIDN'T END WELL

15,668 views 05/16/24

The Life of Mammals

Pairing a guy that looks like he spends the weekend trading anti-lesbian meatloaf recipes over AOL chatrooms, with a girl that gets so purple she should be asking "where's Ronald?" doesn't seem like a contender for documentary of the year. But then you hear who's narrating it.

970,455 views 10/12/23 Bizarre

Shy, Scared & Fucking Beautiful

Hot chicks + social anxiety. It's a phenomenal combination, second only to Mr. Pibb w/ Koala Yummies. Add a degree of sexual inexperience into the mix and you got yourself GF material, provided that they don't first end up in porn like this tard.

9,435,354 views 10/04/12 Matt's Models Favorites

The Dumbest Shit Ever Said In Porn

Belladonna is down for dog cock, Proxy Paige wants to fuck her own mom, & Annette Schwarz gets wet thinking about vomiting on senior citizens. Goodbye okcupid.com, my search for companionship has been fulfilled.

4,513,904 views 07/30/12 Favorites

ULTRAGASMS

Feast your eyes on a collection of o-faces so outlandish, it would be impossible to get a nut off in public without being caught. Especially if they are a distance shooter. Chances are they'll let loose near an active bus stop and catch one of the locals in the crossfire. It's called "The Cuban Waterslide" and I'm still paying the price for it to this day.

2,548,120 views 10/21/21 Kink.com Ridiculous Orgasms

Porn Scenes Worthy of an Oscar 7

Saw X will be out by the time this is posted. You can't name 5 ways it's better than this. #bet

837,038 views 10/02/23 Porn Scenes Worthy of an Oscar