BUT DADDY IT HURTS!

The 24 Year Old FEMALE Virgin II

What's life's greatest mystery? god? aliens? why Lionsgate allows Tyler Perry to continue directing films? How about how the fuck this 46 year old poster boy for NAMBLA managed to pull a Russian model half his age, only to vow abstinence for half a fucking decade?

Happy XMAS From eFukt

Bad judgement and holiday cheer combine forces like John McAffe and discounted hookers.

WHO'S MOM IS THIS LOL

Vlad the Impaler

What's hung like a Clydesdale and knows less words than a Pokemon? He's known simply as Vlad, and 37 states require a permit to walk around with that fucking thing in public.

Porn Scenes Worthy of an Oscar 2

Someone somewhere thought it would be really great to make a 70 minute porn film set in the Victorian era about a guy with a dick for a nose. Today we honor men like that and the amazing master-pieces of shit they produce.

Downs with the Sickness

Impressive method acting on his part to be honest. He's got that 'my mother, sister and John Deer push mower are all the same person, so I listen to The Black Eyed Peas on vinyl' look down to a science. Unrelated question: Does gonorrhea cancel itself out if you get it twice? Asking for a friend.

How to Make a Girl From Okinawa Cum

Is it even possible to bring an oriental female to orgasm without the help of Bob Vila's signature series at this point? I don't know what evolutionary timeline they're living in over there, I can promise you this road only leads to an addiction to Newport cigarettes and a whole lot of apologies.

Objectionable Porn That Shouldn't Exist: 5

There's more dead ends behind the eyes in this compilation than an apartment building in Silent Hill. But that vegetable connoisseur in the last video has a butthole that squeezes harder than a retard at a petting zoo, so... sacrifices will be made.

Accidental Cum Shot

Noob's first and final attempt at porn stardom lands him in a gang bang shoot. He doesn't care, he thinks he's ready for anything... but nothing can prepare you to be a premature ejaculator's innocent bystander. PEW PEW

The 49 Year Old Virgin

Meet Allen. At almost 50 years old, he's never had sex and is on the verge of losing all hope. Now it's up to a $400 goth hooker with a heart of gold to help him lose his virginity once and for all... or will he fuck it all up?

The Absolute Worst of Pornhub III

I'll admit that last clip might be enough to ruin your holiday feast later today. But it's Thanksgiving and you probably need something to talk to grandma about before the sweet potatoes hit the table. You should be thanking me, Mortimer. [PART I] [PART II]

Porn Scenes Worthy of an Oscar 7

Saw X will be out by the time this is posted. You can't name 5 ways it's better than this. #bet