Look how happy Miguel is to finally have some consentual sex in his life. Mother fucker even rolls down the window for the neighbors and he proudly posted this video. Although, it appears things went better in his mind than they did in reality.
I have this strong feeling that she ended up passing out with that phone still lost within her vaginal abyss. Yes I can see the headlines now: "Promiscuous college girl awakens in a drunken stupor to the sound of a ringtone echoing throughout the canals of her cunt. Surgical removal was necessary."
1,020,055 | 1.22.09 | Anonymous | Insertions
Luckily I'll never be exposed to such humiliation at the hands of a woman, for in my hometown of Tajikistan it's a criminal offense to mock a man's penis size, punishable by decapitation via serrated butter knife. But that's not to say a woman would ever have any reason to shame my kidney cracker to begin with. Trust me, I put horses to shame.
2,220,738 | 1.17.09 | Anonymous | Amateur
You always gotta be wary of those naked, middle aged men who like to prance about in red face paint. Snapping a few myspace photos with the aforementioned homosexual may seem tempting, but it's important you understand the risks involved. Watch and learn.
1,375,695 | 1.15.09 | Anonymous | Public
Guadalupe no, not on the sheets. Those are fucking Egyptian cotton. Now his whole bedroom's gonna stink like chicken of the sea for the next month and half. But maybe you can redeem yourself by clawing at his testicles a little more?
2,382,045 | 1.14.09 | Anonymous | Orgasms
So even sexual harrasment is now socially acceptaple but I'm still deemed a sick fuck for fapping it to reruns of The Golden Girls. Fuck that. Beatrice Arthur is a gilf, anyone who begs to differ probably couldn't tell apart a real woman from their asshole.
1,698,883 | 1.13.09 | Anonymous | Groped
Now this is a most excellent way to tear that thin piece of skin that separates the inside of the vagina from the poop shoot. Puncture that and your lady friend will be the first woman on earth to space dock herself. Wee! Sounds like eFukt material to me. Any volutneers? Click HERE to see a similar video.
1,327,442 | 1.10.09 | Anonymous | Bizarre
I'm pretty sure just about everyone gets caught having sex by their parents at some point in life. Well maybe not if you're an orphan, but it definitely happened to me. I was playing Tetris, level 34, as the neighborhood hoe performed fellatio on my Ultra Magnus. I put in a special request to mother for some Nachos Bell Grande, assuming I'd be finished prior to delivery. Needless to say my calculations were a bit off.
1,976,437 | 1.6.09 | Anonymous | Busted!
That doesn't even look too fun. Her tits look like tomatoes on the verge of exploding. I never realized breasts were so durable. Not only do they come in handy for whatever the fuck you'd call this shit, but they also serve as excellent punching bags. They're multipurpose, unlike my penis.
1,221,326 | 12.28.08 | Anonymous | Bizarre