Persian girl gets an accidental, no-lube blow to the rectum... most likely due to her male counterpart having the gut of a grizzly bear and not being able to see what the fuck he's aiming at. Or in other words... he tried to no-scope it and failed wonderfully.
One determined woman's mission to have her guts turned into a holiday display at Home Goods is actually thwarted by a director that specializes in mawmaw's chicken casserole. She wants to continue, he makes her hit the showers... and a new dynamic in butthole malfeasance porn is born.
[what you know]: Anyone that's had a TV on after 1:00AM between the years 1997 and 2003 are still trying to get this fucking theme song out of their heads. [what you don't know]: Doug "hobgoblin" Stanhope had the approachability of post-nut clarity Clint Howard. I demand a reboot.
We got a pretty diverse group of fatherless degeneration this time around. Whether it's Discovery Channel's new poster girl at the 0:35 second mark, or the champ going for his 17th title at 4:20, you're guaranteed at least one reason to start day drinking again.
This one is for the homies that asked me wtf happened to that girl who looks like Sarah Palin crossbreed her with a gerbil? As fate would have it, not even a pandemic slowed down her quest for hating cum on a budget. Yikes and might I add, gadzooks.
This is actually a pretty accurate title, so brace your dicks 'cause you are about to meet a one hundred and ten pound girl with a fuck hole like a wind tunnel.
A pair of seasoned rectal specialists agree to shoot a scene with a girl less experienced in butt fuckery than an Amish housewife. Points for trying to stick it out until the end, but let me tell you; It's all fun and games until Fransisco & Co. are face-to-ass with last night's carne asada.
Dudes that look like half-evolved Animorphs, Jurassic Park fetishizers and turning a 2 liter into a condom. And they are all getting laid on a regular basis. I'd suggest you let that sink in, but... the mud is already too deep.
We all have a calling. It may not be skeet shooting Reddi Wip's finest, or hitting a PB in Super Mario 64. But for homeboy at the 6:25 mark replicating what he saw on Discovery Channel's Rise of Warrior Chimps, life finally has a purpose. More: [-1-] [-2-] [-3-] [-4-] [-5-] [-6-] [-7-] [-8-]
The downside to dating a girl with the self-awareness of a TikTok investor? Literally nothing. Not even an unannounced visit to vegemite valley is enough to send her running. Either we have a cold-blooded liar on our hands, or that pudding hatch is spring-loaded.
