Hygiene Fail 2

Calling an Audible

Perhaps 'audible' is the wrong word to use here, as it suggests this misfit anticipated the scene going any other possible way. She didn't. Trust me. I've been inside a Walmart parking lot on a Friday night - I know what I'm talking about.

Girl Drops Deuce, Forgets To Wipe

Her ability to wipe her ass is on par with Tom Sizemore's ability to not beat women. Fortunately at least 1 person in this vid has some considerable talent, and that's the dude that miraculously didn't peel over & die after getting a whiff of her shit-box!

Awkward Moments in Porn 15

A baffling assortment of eccentric freaks so confusing out of place, you'll think you're watching the new Scream movie. There's a time and place for everything... except tag teaming a $1,000 dollar Queen's Blade figurine. That's a permanent no from me dawg.

Return of the Cum Master

The Spider-man of rope slinging is back and setting records Guinness refuses to recognize for some reason. Something about prosthetic nutsacs and bannable material. Well... he's legit and I have the research to prove it. [PART I]

Spitters and Quitters

idk, seems pretty predictable to me. Once the enchantment of a $200 payday and living their monthly YOLO moments has worn off, anxiety and regret should be expected. But shoutouts to wish.com for making these precious memories possible.

Mr Big Load

AKA "ukBiggestSpunker" is a sperm chucking champion capable of loads only obtainable by some high powered mutant not considered for mass production.

BALLS DEEP

Pornstars Read Hatemail

I'm not totally convinced that all these girls have reached stardom. Also, I think Tabitha Stevens now qualifies for senior benefits, and one girl looks homeless, but whatever.

College Bros Get a Reality Check

Two semesters spent shotgunning Bud Light and using the sink as a toilet? No problemo. Thirty five seconds of experienced squabblenecking? Not a fucking chance. Ladies and gentlegenders - I present to you face of higher education.

The Worst Tattoos in Porn 2023

For fuck sakes, these dorks could've thrown a dart at any billboard in Las Vegas and found better ideas to attach to their bodies permanently. I haven't seen people this far out of their comfort zones since the launch of Burger King's ultimate breakfast platter.

Rough Sex Accident

This 'top quality' penthouse hotel porn gets awful real fast. Some say his dick is too big, others say her holes are too small. If you were to ask me I would say LOLOLOL.

Cum-Hater vs Gang-Bang

Remember that fat crybaby from one of the few episodes of The Maury Show that didn't involve teenagers giving handjobs in exchange for chicken mcnuggets? She had this uncanny ability to make hundreds of bad decisions in a row. Well, it appears she reproduced.