I caught my ex-girlfriend masturbating once after months of reconnaissance. At first I was all like "HAHA I finally caught you! Yussss!".... but then it occured to me - she rather fuck a piece of plastic than sleep with me. What a fucking insult.
Just close your eyes and listen to the audio. Only time I've heard a man make sounds like that was in Al-Qaeda beheading video. See more from this awesome couple here: 1, 2 and 3.
What's life's greatest mystery? god? aliens? why Lionsgate allows Tyler Perry to continue directing films? How about how the fuck this 46 year old poster boy for NAMBLA managed to pull a Russian model half his age, only to vow abstinence for half a fucking decade? Full video HERE and more HERE.
Ever seen a girl go from :) to :o to >:O in 2 seconds flat? Lemme tell ya... it's all fun and games until you make contact with the fallopian tubes at 27 MPH.
Pregnant sisters, overly-hung midgets and a race to outdo dad's cum stains. I don't know if I'm jerking off to porn, or a Charlie Sheen family reunion.
What can I say? She's a slut with time to kill and he... well, he has a membership card to the local clinic. How could this not end with a fistful of Alabama Hotpocket?
