Seriously what the fuck is that

The Creepiest Motherfucker in Porn

If there's a book out there on what NOT to do during intercourse, I'd say this dude just paved the way for a fucking trilogy. Nevermind his Rosie O'Donnell-like figure, or his unsettling fetish for floppy disks. The real prize is at the 2.48 mark. Ladies and gentleman, this motherfucker just single-handedly brought back Planking.

The Absolute Worst of Pornhub VII

Breaking traditional workout regimes, NASA-sponsored ejaculations and Skynet inching ever closer to harvesting our organs through the channel of A.I. powered sex transformers. If the next 8 minutes doesn't shine a more positive light on your life, nothing will. I'm here to help.

Mom's Secret Recipe

The Rectum: Some men never experience contact with it. Others, speed-run it like a 3:00AM trip through the Burger King drive-thru. But judging by this specimen's cornhole pastaroni, I think it's a safe bet she follows Gordon Ramsay on TikTok. Happy Fuckin Holiday(s).

BALLS DEEP

The Dumbest Shit Ever Said In Porn

Belladonna is down for dog cock, Proxy Paige wants to fuck her own mom, & Annette Schwarz gets wet thinking about vomiting on senior citizens. Goodbye okcupid.com, my search for companionship has been fulfilled.

The 2 Million Scoville Orgasm

Monetizing your vagina only has a few rules: Minimal trips to Home Depot, and keep the clitoris away from all things with the name "Husqvarna" on them. Not a hard list, but this MFC alumni decides to test fate another way, resulting in a semi-rage quit. GGNORE.

Humiliated In Front Of 2000 People

Not only did this happen live, but she nailed the mythic trifecta: Dry-docked a Russian without a gun to her head, hit the sour cream & onion griddy & did it all with her BF 20 feet away. It's not every day we find girls worthy of an all-expenses paid trip to Red Robin... but she's here.

Olympic Level Creampie

"Every choice comes with a consequence. Once you make a choice, you must accept responsibility. You cant escape the consequences of your choices, whether you like them or not, no matter how deep the rabbit hole goes." - Roy T. Bennett

Sorry, My Penis is Broken

General Zod experiences performance anxiety.

Nowhere to Run

Sorry to all competing rookies out there trying to cover the Vagisil bill: This is the type of content you need to be producing now. Those glory days of not acting like somebody hooked a lawn mower battery to your fallopian tubes to get attention are over. Devon... get the Flex Tape.

Awkward Moments In Porn 5

Special shout out to clip #12. For those of you that have never had the luxury of riding a San Fransisco BART train between the hours of 12:00AM and 11:59PM, you just got second hand experienced special delivered by Aunt Jemima herself.

Interracial Blowbang Confessions

"Django the Fifth's Revenge" is the story of a self-proclaimed "black cock slut" on a mission. Notice the highly viscous load of seminal fluid dangle dancing off her chin the whole scene.