1 part Disney movie, 2 parts Carole Baskins. That was the plan up until Zazu used all of his Rosetta Stone credits on the Jack Sparrow of punani tsunamis. The result is an unexpected comedy duo, the likes of Seth Rogan would be hired to voice-over in the theatrical release. Why are the most important discoveries in life accidental?
This is all but guaranteed to eradicate any story you may have been led to believe about how hard it is to interact with an established pornstar. Now the countdown begins until the protein-maxing gym bros discover this one simple trick.
Ahh, the beautiful girls that fap for internet money. It's a stressful job full of internet chat trolls and dildos that need a power outlet. Understandably they can sometimes freak out a bit.
So you think Dr. Phil has covered all the bases of marital disasters? Well it's time to reevaluate bitch. These pioneers of female empowerment do it all. And by all I mean everything except give us the long awaited sequel to Karen's Krapper: Volume 27. Alexa, play Big Bottom by Spinal Tap.
Notorious shake shack enthusiast decides to document one of his many attacks on titan. He sabotages his own rubbers, fakes empathy and could give less than a shit about divorce papers. This could only end one way.
onlyfanz: Some sign up to get a girl through hard times. Others are forced after capitulating an attempt to pay prostitutes in Wendy's coupons. They all start off good, but much like me during Terminator Dark Fate, it only takes 27 seconds to realize you just wasted your money.
It's only 10 minutes into the all night sex party and this douche is about to bust his nut after a 30 second blowjob. Not wanting to end the night early, he awkwardly death grips his penis attempting to cease climax.
Want hard proof that humans are still all about charity? Look no further friendos. This scumcunt offers some locals the ultimate handout: A free reminder to get yourself STD tested next time you go reaching for those frozen Reese's Cups. You can find her new profile HERE.
Fun Fact: Herpetophiliacs Paleontologists don't really know how big a tyrannosaurus rex's penis actually was. Estimations are somewhere between 10 inches and 12 feet.
Admittedly the carb walrus she's costarring with may have her beat in the embarrassment department, but she's not far behind in this race. If anything at all for offsetting what may be the greatest set of natural tits ever documented by having the face of Jaden Smith. It can not be unseen.
Dont let the bandana fool you. This cholo's 'tough guy' persona is about as real as his pleather jacket. Such is illustrated after Gianna does the unforgivable - an unconsensual snowball attack - which he takes like a total bitch. This is funny as fuck.
