A proud self-identified "throat goat" with self-destructive blowjob skills attempts total sexual suicide via co-stars penis. I like this bitch, she's fucking crazy.
Today we learn three crucial things, so grab your colored pencils and pay attention: #1: Voyeurism is alive and well #2: Sexual misconduct is always negotiable. And #3: Lifetime bans from Macy's aren't a big deal. Lets get it.
This is essentially a hybrid of THIS video + THIS video, or in more comprehensive terms: 3 parts female empowerment, 141 parts bat-shit fucking retarded. ENJOY.
LIFE LESSON #27: If you have worse rectal control than one of the golden girls; seek out another hobby. Last time I saw someone pay for skidmarking this abusive he was ultimately banned from Chipotle at the corporate level. (me, it was me) [song]
Today we go on a spirited journey to a time forgotten; Behind the scenes of your average 2004 porn shoot. Special shoutout to Julian for being a role model during my college years. That man's lust for turning fallopian tubes into tier-3 tuna casserole should have earned the Martha Stewart seal of approval.
Although this scene of Gianna Micheals finger banging herself had to be cut short after only 4 mins, Gianna proves once again how badass she is and just finishes the scene best she can.
I haven't come across so much reason to develop erectile dysfunction on purpose since going down the lore on [this social media creature]. It truly is an unfortunate day to have eyes.
This is a pretty amazing scene right up until the point when it becomes one of the best cum shot fails of all time. Imagine the glorious feeling of having your penis sucked -- now imagine that feeling being destroyed right when it counts.
For these ground breaking philanthropists, it's about destroying societal norms. Climb that mountain and nothing shall come between your communal oral cavity and legendary status. Save for a viral outbreak or four.
