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How Pornstars Get Pinkeye

The jizz of a black man infused with rectal juice? That's like fuckin battery acid. Kiss yo 20/20 vision goodbye bitch!

3,383,438 views 01/08/10 Fail

Orgasm Fail

Preggo girl is in the middle of cumming when her [minute] man declares that the apple sauce is en route for early delivery. She replies with a double "doo eet", which I believe means: "cum inside me so that I can finish my orgasm you twig dick motherfucker". The request didn't seem to catch.

4,529,627 views 12/08/09 Premature

The Sherminator

Props to the ginger on his pipe laying skills. Honestly haven't heard a woman scream that loud since the time I was caught defecating in front of Blockbuster in protest to late fees accumulated on my rental of The Neverending Story 3 (director's cut). Good times.

1,802,682 views 11/20/09 Orgasms

The Most Miserable Pornstar Ever

Pretty sure I once saw this chick in a humanitarian commercial for Yugoslavian orphans. It's hard to forget a facial expression like that.... especially after fappin to it for 3 consecutive months.

2,253,906 views 10/07/09 Fail

The Elevator

I decided to reuse the sound bite from yesterday's clip. Who would've thought Robert Deniro's voice could so perfectly complete a video of a man retracting his nut sack to and fro? I know I know, it's amazing.

1,133,187 views 09/30/09 LULZ

Molested At Lunch Time

This is a scene from some stupid French porno called The Image. Stars that old bitch from 101 Dalmations as some sort of empowered cunt that likes to dominate. Kinda funny but not really my cup of tea. I was raised on the notion that degradation is a man's job.

1,794,567 views 09/16/09 Groped

Sharing Is Caring

Snowballing? Fuck that. I'd rather toss my girlfriend's salad directly after shitting out 2 pounds of kung pao chicken than be orally introduced to my own man jam. Too many calories bro.

1,588,452 views 09/14/09 LULZ

Anal With Constipated Girlfriend

I'm always one step ahead of female biology. When I wanna ass fuck a woman, I simply lace her Cinnamon Toast Crunch with ex-lax. Come night fall, her cornhole is as empty as Tara Reid's head. Works every time.

1,814,141 views 09/09/09 LULZ

Macho Man Cries From Anal

This is FUCKING HILARIOUS.

1,718,289 views 08/29/09 Painal

Pornstar Quits Over Farting Incident

This is a scene from MEATHOLES, which was basically one of the most extreme porn sites on the web back in 2003-ish. It's funny. This girl can handle a fist up her cunt while the cameraman inquires about her childhood, but let one slip in her face and that's where she draws the line.

2,794,312 views 08/19/09 Meatholes Fail

His Penis Is Bigger Than Yours

He wears eyeliner, listens to Marilyn Manson and has the masculinity of Richard Simmons. Was god drunk off his ass when he decided to bless this tard with a 13 inch cock or what? It should've been me you mothefucker. Meeeee.

4,681,917 views 06/30/09 Big Dicks

1 Guy 1 Cup Revealed

The man... the myth... the legend!

1,006,144 views 04/28/09

Oink Oink Suck My Dick

For a minute there, I was actually beginning to lose faith in Japan's ability to consistently create the most fucked up, ridiculous adult films known to man. Then I was introduced to the latest and greatest - 'anamorphic animal porn'. Pure win.

3,523,152 views 03/30/09 Asians

Mystery Meat

There's been much debate as to whether this is in fact a woman or just a post-op tranny. I feel these detailed photos will help you reach your own conclusions.

1,680,978 views 02/19/09 Gallery

1 Guy, 1 Basketball

For centuries many will wonder - how did he do it? How did one man fit an entire basketball into his anus? Vigorous week-long training sessions? Nah. Optical illusion? Nope. Homosexual superpowers that transform one's rectum into a 4th dimension gateway? I suspect so.

1,772,195 views 01/26/09 Insertions

Your Cock Will Never Be That Big

Luckily I'll never be exposed to such humiliation at the hands of a woman, for in my hometown of Tajikistan it's a criminal offense to mock a man's penis size, punishable by decapitation via serrated butter knife. But that's not to say a woman would ever have any reason to shame my kidney cracker to begin with. Trust me, I put horses to shame.

2,707,685 views 01/16/09 Amateur

Reverse Anal

Now this is a most excellent way to tear that thin piece of skin that separates the inside of the vagina from the poop shoot. Puncture that and your lady friend will be the first woman on earth to space dock herself. Wee! Sounds like eFukt material to me. Any volutneers? Click HERE to see a similar video.

1,755,524 views 01/09/09 Bizarre

Hurray! I lost My Virginity!

Contain yourself Ralphie, you are now a man.

2,282,559 views 01/09/09 Virgins

Gotcha By The Tail

Just to clarify, that's a woman... and she doesn't actually have a tail. That's just a large piece of vaginal beef curtain, USDA prime.

810,351 views 01/08/09

Half Woman Half Donkey

Not even for 10k would I stick my dick between those chompers. Mr. Ed would mistake my willy for a carrot and I'd get circumcised all over again.

813,216 views 01/03/09
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