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Speech Disorders & Anal Sex Dont Mix

This white trash tart has a speech impediment that's left her sounding like Stan's cunt of a sister from South Park. But that's okay. The bulk of her dialogue has been limited to "ouch" and "that hurtz muddafucka". I wouldn't have it any other way.

DP Fail

One in the pink, another in the stink. That was the plan up until Gilligian and his clumsy noodle fucked it all up. You see, his cock fell off course and wandered south, resulting in an unexpected double vadge penetration - a sex move that didn't even exist at the time. Why are the most important discoveries in life always accidental?

07/12/10 Fail

A Random Act Of Kindness

Want hard proof that Americans are all about charity? Look no further friend. This zesty little 19 year old slut offers a mild mannered vagrant the ultimate handout - a free whiff of her soiled panties. It's generosity like this that warms my heart.

06/09/10 LULZ

Anal Creampie From Hell

It's crazy. On the outside, assholes all look the same. But if your rectum was to ever head south & emerge as a pink-sock... you'd quickly find that much like the butt plugs in Oprah Winfrey's sextoy collection, they come in all shapes, sizes and colors. 4 years of running a porn site and that's about all I've learned.

11/11/09 Prolapse

America's Next Top Pornstar

You stuttering, premature ejaculating son of a gun. Peter North and Ron Jeremy are already packing their bags.

08/16/09 Premature

Chef Boyardee Jizzes Upon Contact

Poor bastard, he's the real life version of the premature ejaculator from American Pie. I'd like to see him masturbate. All he has to do is poke his cock with his index finger and it's a done deal.

09/25/08 Premature

Hookers Arent Very Political

If all the prostitutes in America turned political, crack would be legalized and sold through vending machines. It's best we keep their faces stuffed with cock.

06/29/08 Amateur

Southern Slut Loves Butt Sex

And her husband definitely loves giving it to her. Unfortunately the dialogue is a total boner killer.

10/29/07 Amateur
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