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Molested At Lunch Time

This is a scene from some stupid French porno called The Image. Stars that old bitch from 101 Dalmations as some sort of empowered cunt that likes to dominate. Kinda funny but not really my cup of tea. I was raised on the notion that degradation is a man's job.

1,792,493 views 09/16/09 Groped

Sharing Is Caring

Snowballing? Fuck that. I'd rather toss my girlfriend's salad directly after shitting out 2 pounds of kung pao chicken than be orally introduced to my own man jam. Too many calories bro.

1,586,805 views 09/14/09 LULZ

The Super Soaker

When it rains... it pours.

2,118,551 views 08/26/09 Orgasms

Making Porno Is Serious Business

1,186,133 views 08/04/09 Fail

Shotgun Blast To The Vajayjay

All I can think about is the people who jack off to this shit. I envision a crowd of a thousand Japs in a dimly lit adult theater, simultaneously ejaculating just as the girl's vagina gets blown into oblivion by a point-blank blast from a 12 guage. Enthusiastic high fives, everywhere.

1,422,031 views 07/07/09 Bizarre

A Unique Friendship

Way too homoerotic for my taste, but I did get a laugh out of his 'grand finale' and the excessive use of the word "bro". Watch all the way through and you'll understand.

1,422,237 views 07/02/09 Bizarre

Extreme Anal Maintenance

God damn. If only my girlfriend shared her habits... maybe then I wouldn't end up with shit in my urethra 3 times a week.

1,903,934 views 07/01/09 Bizarre

Fuck The Shit Out Of Me

Ask, and ye shall recieve. I learned that in bible club

2,762,883 views 05/30/09 Orgasms

All Girls Love Assholes

Especially fat ones. Dinner time!

3,799,723 views 05/28/09 Amateur

Gone In 60 Seconds

The title is slightly inaccurate, I just felt like making a reference to that shitty Nick Cage movie. The reality of the situation is that this willy wonka can't even last 5 seconds. Getting to the 1 minute mark would be like an olympic achievement.

1,924,279 views 05/25/09 Premature

The Most Obnoxious Bitch In Porn

I don't really give a fuck what anyone else has to say... domestic violence is always a solution. I'd pimp slap that bitch all the way back into the 80's, a time when her David Bowie hairdo was actually fashionable.

1,596,962 views 05/18/09 Fail

Racist Porn From The 70's

Complete with a negro version of quasimoto. Warning in advance to my beloved caucasian viewers, black-on-white racism lies within!

2,299,193 views 05/01/09 Vintage

Why You Motherfucker

Hottest thing I've seen all day.

4,567,471 views 04/23/09 Vintage

My Bitch Is Kinky

Some pretty good dialogue in this one. A warm thank you to the creator of these videos for letting me post em, eFukt loves you... and your kinky Harley bitch.

1,107,024 views 04/17/09 LULZ

Pornstars Say The Darndest Things

"You don't deserve my cock... you don't even deserve a bulldog's cock. All you deserve is your own stinking shit, so get down and suck it off my prick" .... turn the volume up for this one boys. Waaay up.

2,046,109 views 04/04/09 LULZ

Drive Thru Facial

LOL @ the cashiers reaction. Bitch you be on eFukt and shit.

845,500 views 03/24/09

Oops! My Asshole Fell Out!

Prolaptic standoff between Falcor and Mr. Spaghettios. I love this shit.

2,111,562 views 03/14/09 Prolapse

Guess What She Ate For Lunch

I'll give you a hint - it's a vegetable that shares it's name with an incredibly shitty nu metal band whose fans always wear black nail polish and amazingly have smaller penises than myself (sub 3.75 inches). This is too easy.

1,816,700 views 03/08/09 LULZ

I Lost My Cellphone In Your Vagina

I have this strong feeling that she ended up passing out with that phone still lost within her vaginal abyss. Yes I can see the headlines now: "Promiscuous college girl awakens in a drunken stupor to the sound of a ringtone echoing throughout the canals of her cunt. Surgical removal was necessary."

1,363,452 views 01/22/09 Insertions

Your Cock Will Never Be That Big

Luckily I'll never be exposed to such humiliation at the hands of a woman, for in my hometown of Tajikistan it's a criminal offense to mock a man's penis size, punishable by decapitation via serrated butter knife. But that's not to say a woman would ever have any reason to shame my kidney cracker to begin with. Trust me, I put horses to shame.

2,705,971 views 01/16/09 Amateur
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