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Babysitting Fail

I wish my parents had been as considerate in their choosing of a babysitter. For 7 years they stuck me with Ethiopian dyke that wore basketball attire exclusively. Nearly left me with an inverted penis.

5,520,925 views 12/03/09 LULZ

OOPS! Wrong Hole!

I'd be pretty amazed/disappointed if that didn't at least cause a little internal bleeding. Emphasis on disappointed.

5,554,913 views 11/22/09 Wrong Holes

He'll Never Do Porn Again

Failure to achieve erection OR premature ejaculation. Those are the top 2 problems most men face when trying to perform on camera. It's usually one or the other... but in this chumps case - 2 birds are killed with 1 very tiny stone.

3,145,176 views 11/17/09 Premature

Anal Creampie From Hell

It's crazy. On the outside, assholes all look the same. But if your rectum was to ever head south & emerge as a pink-sock... you'd quickly find that much like the butt plugs in Oprah Winfrey's sextoy collection, they come in all shapes, sizes and colors. 4 years of running a porn site and that's about all I've learned.

1,852,113 views 11/11/09 Prolapse

Rough Sex Fail

Some professionmal pipe layers right here. Too bad the only thing they made sore was her ear drums. Skreeem bitch skreeem!

1,883,467 views 11/09/09 LULZ

Bitch! You Broke My Dick!

Fuck porn, she belongs in MMA.

3,763,942 views 11/04/09 Fights

Endurance Fail

I like how he straight up bends his cock as a means to halt the ejaculation. It's a penis, not a fucking garden hose. Nice try though!

2,721,980 views 11/02/09 Bangbros Premature

Yo No Quiero Butt Fuck

I posted this awhile back but the clip was ruined by god awful Mexican music. Luckily an alternative version has now surfaced. Less Ricky Martin. More cries of pain.

2,044,017 views 10/20/09 Painal

Quit Fapping & GTFO

I guess he figured that once she laid eyes on his 7 inch yankee doodle, she wouldn't be able to resist and that a 'happy ending' would ensue. The Motel 6 guy actually shared the same ideology. Too much late night Cinemax porn can really fuck with your head these days.

3,543,710 views 10/09/09 Exhibition

The Most Miserable Pornstar Ever

Pretty sure I once saw this chick in a humanitarian commercial for Yugoslavian orphans. It's hard to forget a facial expression like that.... especially after fappin to it for 3 consecutive months.

2,256,025 views 10/07/09 Fail

Symmetry Fail

Left one would make for a pretty good punching bag.

613,955 views 10/06/09

Supremacy Fail II

Did someone have a little too much King Cobra?

923,034 views 10/06/09

Cumshot Fail

Tojiri "vertigo" Yamamato fumbles at the 3 yard line.

1,807,711 views 09/26/09 Fail

Molested At Lunch Time

This is a scene from some stupid French porno called The Image. Stars that old bitch from 101 Dalmations as some sort of empowered cunt that likes to dominate. Kinda funny but not really my cup of tea. I was raised on the notion that degradation is a man's job.

1,796,656 views 09/16/09 Groped

Anal With Constipated Girlfriend

I'm always one step ahead of female biology. When I wanna ass fuck a woman, I simply lace her Cinnamon Toast Crunch with ex-lax. Come night fall, her cornhole is as empty as Tara Reid's head. Works every time.

1,815,683 views 09/09/09 LULZ

Orgasm Ruined By Momma

Dudes in the middle of busting a nut when Madea comes a knocking. This is why I jack off with headphones on. Nothing comes between me and glory.

2,324,050 views 09/02/09 Busted!

Supremacy Fail

SUPERIOR ...... at being fat. lol.

879,516 views 08/29/09

Pornstar Quits Over Farting Incident

This is a scene from MEATHOLES, which was basically one of the most extreme porn sites on the web back in 2003-ish. It's funny. This girl can handle a fist up her cunt while the cameraman inquires about her childhood, but let one slip in her face and that's where she draws the line.

2,796,263 views 08/19/09 Meatholes Fail

Condom Fail

That's what happens when you buy contraceptives out of vending machines.

2,568,879 views 08/18/09 LULZ

Pornstar Hates Semen

No one said you had to like it baby. Just sit back, open wide and think about all the Baja Chalupas you'll be able to buy as soon as you're done. That's what gets me through the day.

1,522,299 views 08/17/09 Cum Haters
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