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Beverage Holder

Just don't put any cups in your ass and you'll be okay.

754,690 views 02/07/09

Ouch! My Cock!

Looks like women aren't the only ones to suffer injuries on the sets of porno shoots. Professional taco stuffers have a few occupational hazards of their own. I suppose that as long rectal prolapses aren't on that list, being a stunt cock is still my dream job.

1,766,958 views 02/04/09 Kink.com Fail

Teacher & Student Sextape

All participant are of legal age. Read the full article HERE. I like how the 35 year old teacher squirms like a virgin whenever he sticks his teenage pecker inside her - check both he beginning and the end.

3,902,121 views 01/31/09 Amateur

Piglet

Ya know that hot 18 year old blonde you had cybersex with last week? This is what she really looks like.

437,855 views 01/03/09

The Dumbest Sex Device Ever Built

That doesn't even look too fun. Her tits look like tomatoes on the verge of exploding. I never realized breasts were so durable. Not only do they come in handy for whatever the fuck you'd call this shit, but they also serve as excellent punching bags. They're multipurpose, unlike my penis.

1,498,128 views 12/28/08 Bizarre

Pornstar Nearly Impales Herself

Mullet girl doesn't seem to realize that a dildo this large is likely to cause internal bleeding. Had it actually penetrated her vagina - she'd go down in medical history as the first gynecology patient to have no need for a speculum.

2,149,263 views 12/17/08 Insertions

He's Not Exactly Pornstar Material

I love how he franctically jacks off even after he's already blown his load, maybe hoping to milk out one last squirt of man-goo and actually land it on her face? No such luck for this fatty arbuckle. I'll tell you though, I'm definitely diggin his torn up thong.

2,119,912 views 12/13/08 LULZ

Amputee Porn Gone Bad

All the things that made amputee porn so great just got shitted on by whoever made this so called 'erotic film'. Amputee porn is about disabled, submissive (and usually defenseless) women being fucked by men with exceedingly large penises. I refuse to have it any other way.

2,464,866 views 12/10/08 Amputee

The Orgasm Of Death

Honestly, less than 1% of the shit I post actually makes me LOL. Anal prolapses and horse porn bloopers just don't seem to do it for me anymore. But jesus... the second I heard this guy blow ass in the opening sequence I LOL'd so hard my eyes started watering like an emo kid listening to Dashboard Confessional.

2,492,474 views 12/06/08 Orgasms

Chest Burster Porn

Glad to see Alien 5 is well underway.

994,711 views 11/30/08

Mushroom Head

For the love of god, someone please cast this man into a porno. I wanna see what a woman's asshole looks like after being fucked by this thing.

587,748 views 11/30/08

Grandma's Udders

I don't give a fuck how old she is. I'd suck on those senior citizen natties till they turned purple.

802,033 views 11/30/08

The Effects Of Interracial Sex

This dude screams as if his hand just got hacked off Blood Diamond style, either that or he just found out KFC discontinued their awesome $4.99 12 piece honey chicken meal deal. Take your pick. And sorry if this is a repost, I'm short on time. I've got a date with an 19 year old diabetic in 45 minutes. We're gonna watch Jumanji and play truth or dare at my moms house. Jealous? That's what I thought, faggot.

2,583,279 views 11/27/08 Orgasms

Eat Your Own Pussy!

LOL @ the dialogue and fap fap fap @ the forced cunnilingus. I love these variety videos.

2,682,076 views 10/20/08 Vintage

Go Away Bro, I'm Masturbating

This is why I carry a 12oz bottle of my mace in my center console. Rest stops are great for quick 'on the road' jackoff sessions but they're almost always laden with dirty old men looking to score free peep shows. If they want to see me make love to myself, they gotta pay... otherwise it's mace to the face.

1,056,787 views 10/19/08 Busted!

Good Porn Ruined By Shitty Music

It's a porno, not a god damn fitness video. Stop adding in the shitty keyboard-generated dance music, it drains out the sound of the woman crying and gagging on cock, which is an essential part of my fap session.

2,592,574 views 10/06/08 LULZ

I Wanna Be A Pornstar

A few tit jobs and a little lipo, and then BAM... her vagina will be generating 7 figures annually before you even know it. It'll also be generating a yellowish discharge, depending on the severity of the Herpes and Gonorrhea that she's bound to contract.

1,592,034 views 10/04/08 Modifications

Search Her Pussy For Contraband

I love how this is a real procedure. They do it before admitting woman into correction facilities. Imagine having that job, getting paid to raid pussies for contraband. Imagine all the treasures you could find.

1,720,964 views 09/17/08 Groped

Make Sure My Pussy Works

She hits up the doctor cause she's having difficulty getting pregnant. I'm no gynecologist but if shaved that bush her husband would probably have an easier time finding the right hole.

1,903,506 views 09/05/08 Documentary

Bruno Stop Sniffing Her Pussy

Just imagine if that was an unneutered Golden Retriever... I think wifey would've quickly gained a strong understanding of the term "unwanted threesome".

1,782,924 views 08/29/08 LULZ
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