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Lemme Smell Yo Dick

One of the shittiest XXX films I've seen in my time... edited down to a cool 60 seconds. It's nothing amazing but fuck... it's got a plot revolving around accusations of sheep rape and worse acting than a Segal flick. How could I not post it?

2,276,961 views 06/27/10 Vintage

Dildo Causes Internal Damage

After straddling a butt plug as thick as a tree trunk, this chicks rectum starts oozing out blood like Owen Wilson's wrists after making another shitty movie.

3,270,950 views 06/26/10 Naughty Alysha Insertions

Earthworm Jim

A parasite most commonly found in dog shit has taken up residence in the cornhole of this Salvadoran hooker. Not much of a step up but what's amazing is how this dumb bitch shits it out in the middle of her pay-per-view camshow without even realizing it. NOE ES BUENO.

2,809,734 views 06/17/10 LULZ

I No Longer Hate Clowns

I was really expecting this chick to have one of those inconspicuous, slit-like vaginas.... not a corned beef gash [as depicted in picture #2]. Still hot as fuck though. She just needs to lay down some Crest Whitening Strips on that labia minora and she be aight. SOURCE: Lexi Belle

3,591,360 views 06/08/10 Gallery

Is It In Yet

Hector and his 2.5 inch pop gun (their measurements, not mine) get an earful of criticism after disappointing a gang of size queens... and nailing himself in the forehead with his own payload. Sorry friend but I think it's best you take your cocktail sausage and head on back to that strawberry field you done crawled up out of.

6,984,961 views 06/07/10 FuckTeamFive LULZ

Blumpkins Really Do Exist

Male pornstar goes where no male pornstar has gone before: to the bathroom... whilst getting his dick sucked. Sounded like a wet one too. Guess this ends the century-long debate that blumpkins are merely an object of fucked up folklore. Another score for modern civilization.

3,052,541 views 05/05/10 Fail

Time To Retire

I cant even imagine how many jackoff sessions came to a halt after this saggy-assed dinosaur stepped in front of the camera. How the fuck are you supposed to beat off when 50% of the screen is devoted to the puckering balloon knot of a gay porn veteran? Honestly...

3,852,072 views 04/25/10 Bizarre

A Gangbang Before Marriage

The love of your life just had her brains fucked out by a 1000 different scumbags and now you feel the urge to tie the knot? LOL. Happy honeymoon guy!

4,422,576 views 04/14/10 LULZ

The Result Of A Real Orgasm

Take note kids. If the bitch aint flopping around like a senior citizen mid epileptic seizure, you're doing it wrong!

3,207,911 views 04/12/10 Orgasms

Do Not Want

A car full of Canadian hooligans armed with a VHS camcorder stumble upon a crackwhore that likes to show off the brown eye. Honestly... for someone that hasn't wiped their ass since 1993, her cornhole surprisingly didn't look all that bad.

2,523,382 views 04/12/10 Nasty

Rectal Control Fail

She's in the middle of an all-girl bukkake shoot when her cornhole opens up and gives birth to a raisinette. Not only does this dirty slut pick it up and attempt to hide it, but she then continues to rub her snatch with the same fuckin hand. NICE 1 LADY!

3,251,460 views 03/30/10 Squirt Bukkake Fail

Who Wants Lasagna

First he bulldozes her ass till his cock turns brown. Then he moves up an orifice and gives her twat some chocolate-coated TLC... which is pretty much guaranteed to result in a wicked case of vaginitis but lets not spoil the fun. All things come to an end after he asks the most amazing question ever uttered in a pornographic film - "who wants lasagna?"

3,334,184 views 03/21/10 LULZ

Orgasm Interrupted By Phone Call

Here's another video with that one slut who has orgasmic convulsions everytime something big and black is stuck between her legs.

1,651,477 views 02/28/10 Orgasms

Endurance Fail

I like how he straight up bends his cock as a means to halt the ejaculation. It's a penis, not a fucking garden hose. Nice try though!

2,719,786 views 11/02/09 Bangbros Premature

Healthy Alternatives To Anal Sex

She rather suck off a fuckin golden retriever than take it up the butt. No joke. They even have an in depth conversation about dog cock just prior to the cumshot finale. Nothing like a little steamy dialogue to keep your noodle hard, right?

3,882,098 views 09/22/09 Meatholes Painal

Molested At Lunch Time

This is a scene from some stupid French porno called The Image. Stars that old bitch from 101 Dalmations as some sort of empowered cunt that likes to dominate. Kinda funny but not really my cup of tea. I was raised on the notion that degradation is a man's job.

1,792,562 views 09/16/09 Groped

Orgasm Ruined By Momma

Dudes in the middle of busting a nut when Madea comes a knocking. This is why I jack off with headphones on. Nothing comes between me and glory.

2,321,419 views 09/02/09 Busted!

The Sex Offender Strikes Back

Interesting choice in victims. Random hot chicks, disabled senior citizens, and now ambulance drivers. Variety really is the spice of life.

906,709 views 08/12/09 Exhibition

Gangbanged By 251 Men For Nothing

The 90's - A time when fucking a quarter thousand men in the name of art somehow made sense. Talk about a resume booster!

2,644,469 views 08/09/09 LULZ

Blowjob Fail

It's semen, not battery acid. Embrace the saltiness and show some appreciation.

2,154,045 views 07/21/09 LULZ
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