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Big Dick Syndrome

Aye carumba! Nice elephant cock dood! But I forsee 1 little problem... the only creatures with big enough holes for you to fuck are large horses and gay pornstars who've been subjected to olympian gangbangs. Tough break bro!

08/26/08 Big Dicks

Newbie Ruins A Porno Shoot

This guy genuinely thought that eating your own semen was socially acceptable. In France, yeah maybe. But in the rest of the world, no, people tend to frown upon the act of ingesting your own cum. Sorry!

Bitch You Got A Yeast Infection

This is probably why you don't see that many male performers bragging about their profession... cause they all got warts on their dicks and have to eat out girls like this! Yum yums.

08/04/08 Fail

Pissed Off Crackwhore

She's coked out and on the rag. If that isn't an invitation for AIDS I don't know what is. Luckily this skank got kicked off the set before anyone had a chance to stick their dick in festering pussy hole.

The Biggest Vagina In porn

That green football in her pussy has an extremely negative effect on the appearance of her asshole. It vaguely resembles the Star Trek symbol. I'm afraid that is a salad I simply cannot toss.

07/26/08 Insertions

Hooker Refuses To Get Off Her Phone

Easy solution: grab the phone & shove it up her twat. With that hole being occupied, you'll have no choice but to relocate your penis to the nearest available orifice - her anus. I call this "How To Get Anal From A Prostitute Without Paying Extra, by eFukt.com".

07/21/08 Amateur

Pathetic Guy Begs Wife For Sex

WOOPS! Correction: pathetic guy begs wife for permission to jack off while filming her nasty asshole... and even at that she is still reluctant. Buddy, you're better off doing what I do - stroke it to yourself in the mirror.

06/14/08 LULZ

Spank That Pussy

Contents under pressure. I wonder what would happen if you poked that thing with a needle. Would tapioca pudding leak out?

06/08/08 Beef Curtains

Extraterrestrial Orgy

I decided to post that last bit of the ET sextape. Elliot is probably fapping to this right now, I know I am. See more alien porn HERE and HERE.

06/04/08 Parody

Not In My Pooper

Initially she makes it pretty clear that she doesn't want anything in her ass. But our hero Johnny Cock Rocket uses the powers of persuasion and before you know it he's making sweet love to her festering cornhole. Not exactly fap worthy but if you're like me you'll fap anyway.

05/27/08 Amateur

Heart Attack Orgasm

When I lost my virginity 2 weeks ago my orgasm sounded very similair to this.

05/15/08 Orgasms

Her Load Is Bigger Than Mine

It's probably not really female ejaculate. I bet it's actually puss being drained from her infected vagina.. She probally has internal herpes lolz.

04/05/08 Bizarre

Your Vagina Is Leaking

The cameraman is right. It does look like cottage cheese. I think I'm gonna puke.

03/31/08 Bizarre

Creamy Vagina

Look, her pussy is oozing all over his cock. I bet you'd love to lick up that pussy juice you dirty fuck.

03/24/08 Amateur

Horny Couple Couldnt Wait

Luckily he's a premature ejaculator, otherwise a line would've started to form for who gets to fuck that slut next.

03/10/08 Public

Insecure Slut Tries Anal

This housewife expresses concern about shit getting on her husbands cock as they try anal for the 1st time. I wouldn't worry much, ATM solves everything.

03/06/08 Amateur

The Conesquences Of Being A Slut

The medical bills for stitching up a busted asshole probally outweigh whatever she was paid to be in this porn. I guess being a slut isn't always profitable! She doesn't even notice the prolapse happen lol.

03/02/08 Prolapse

Public Pissing Gone Wrong

There's this faggoty fetish for girls pissing in public. This geezer takes offense to the concept. Would've been funnier if she was shitting. Much funnier.

02/15/08 LULZ

Legless Fuck

Legs? Who needs legs? All this fat piece of shit needs is a vaginal opening. Her belly button would probally suffice.

02/08/08 Amputee

Molested By Black Strippers 2

It would take a lot more than a dollar tip to get me to bury my face between the legs of one of those nasty skanks.

02/05/08 Strippers
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