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Blowjob Fail

It's semen, not battery acid. Embrace the saltiness and show some appreciation.

07/21/09 LULZ

Sex Ed For Dummies

Usually these type of videos are designed for kids. This one's actually for adults... adults so dumb they can't tell apart their wife's pussy hole from an Arby's Beef N Cheddar. Skip to 3:38 and you'll understand.

07/11/09 Documentary

Extreme Anal Maintenance

God damn. If only my girlfriend shared her habits... maybe then I wouldn't end up with shit in my urethra 3 times a week.

07/01/09 Bizarre

1 Girl Vs. 100 Horny Men

It's like watching the Discovery Channel. Ya know... the one where 5000 ants take down a mouse. Except this one will make your penis wiggle.

06/13/09 Groped

Don't Cum On Me Motherfucker

I wonder what that must feel like... to defend yourself from a physical assault as you're in the middle of ejaculating. I'd sue the bitch - 50k in punitive damages for an orgasm ruined. No one fucks up my fap session and gets away with it for free.

05/08/09 Fail

Help! My Boobs Are Too Big!

She basically paid over $10,000 just to have her titties butchered. What kind of sick, fucked up world is this?

04/14/09 Modifications

Soccer Mom

Whenever she makes the unfortunate decision to reproduce, I bet you the doctors in the delivery room will just have her stand up and let gravity take it's course. The little fucker will fall right out.

03/02/09 Insertions

Make Momma Proud

I'm pretty sure just about everyone gets caught having sex by their parents at some point in life. Well maybe not if you're an orphan, but it definitely happened to me. I was playing Tetris, level 34, as the neighborhood hoe performed fellatio on my Ultra Magnus. I put in a special request to mother for some Nachos Bell Grande, assuming I'd be finished prior to delivery. Needless to say my calculations were a bit off.

01/05/09 Busted!

Half Woman Half Donkey

Not even for 10k would I stick my dick between those chompers. Mr. Ed would mistake my willy for a carrot and I'd get circumcised all over again.

01/03/09

Oops, My Pussy Farted

It's only blooper if it involves a prolapse or someone unwantedly getting poo on their wang. That's the eFukt standard, you all know that. But for this, I just had to make an exception.

12/29/08 Kink.com Fail

Wait She Just Sucked Your Dick...

Ever meet a girl who liked to make out directly after sucking your dick and/or swallowing your load? Kinda faggoty right? Here's how to combat this atrocious trend: Toss your girls salad and get some flavor going. Then grab on to your lady's face and forcefully make out with her. Don't let her squirm away. It's imperative that she has a taste of her own medicine.

12/21/08 Mildly Retarded

LOL I Made You Gag

He seems pretty happy about his achievement. Try doing the same thing again except next time stick your cock in her ass first. When she comes up to blow you she won't gag, she'll just puke. It's called "ass 2 mouth". I invented it.

12/14/08 Fail

The Orgasm Of Death

Honestly, less than 1% of the shit I post actually makes me LOL. Anal prolapses and horse porn bloopers just don't seem to do it for me anymore. But jesus... the second I heard this guy blow ass in the opening sequence I LOL'd so hard my eyes started watering like an emo kid listening to Dashboard Confessional.

12/06/08 Orgasms

Death By Vaginal Cockroach

This is from a Russian film called Philosophy Of A Knife. It's about the Japanese Unit 731... the one that pretty much spent a decade coming up with ridiculous ways to kill people. It's basically just 4 hours of torture. Fun fun fun. While we're on the subject, I'm in preproduction on a post-apocalyptic thriller about punk rock necrophiliacs. Really could use some female talent. Hit me up!

11/19/08 Bizarre

Go Away Bro, I'm Masturbating

This is why I carry a 12oz bottle of my mace in my center console. Rest stops are great for quick 'on the road' jackoff sessions but they're almost always laden with dirty old men looking to score free peep shows. If they want to see me make love to myself, they gotta pay... otherwise it's mace to the face.

10/19/08 Busted!

I Wanna Be A Pornstar

A few tit jobs and a little lipo, and then BAM... her vagina will be generating 7 figures annually before you even know it. It'll also be generating a yellowish discharge, depending on the severity of the Herpes and Gonorrhea that she's bound to contract.

10/04/08 Modifications

Black Cock Causes Bodily Damage

Not quite a prolapse but it might as well be. Her asshole looks a slice of damaged grapefruit and her vagina... hmmm... I'm gonna go with a cut of ahi tuna - burnt on the edges, raw in the center. Updating this site always makes me hungry.

09/20/08 Asians

Dying Orgasm

Just close your eyes and listen to the audio. Only time I've heard a man make sounds like that was in Al-Qaeda beheading video. See more from this awesome couple here: 1, 2 and 3.

09/10/08 Orgasms

Gangbanged On Reality TV

This is fake. This isn't a real gameshow and she isn't in real pain. 3 inch penises make girls laugh, not cry. Trust me, I know.

09/06/08 Asians

Make Sure My Pussy Works

She hits up the doctor cause she's having difficulty getting pregnant. I'm no gynecologist but if shaved that bush her husband would probably have an easier time finding the right hole.

09/05/08 Documentary
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