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Hung Like Bart Simpson

Dildo Baggins here could've saved himself a lot of embarrassment if he just stayed home and stuck to beating off to reruns of Captain Planet. Now he and his 4 inch celery stick have ended up on the world wide web for all to see and laugh at. Live and learn brooo.

11/27/09 FuckTeamFive LULZ

Anal Creampie From Hell

It's crazy. On the outside, assholes all look the same. But if your rectum was to ever head south & emerge as a pink-sock... you'd quickly find that much like the butt plugs in Oprah Winfrey's sextoy collection, they come in all shapes, sizes and colors. 4 years of running a porn site and that's about all I've learned.

11/11/09 Prolapse

Quit Fapping & GTFO

I guess he figured that once she laid eyes on his 7 inch yankee doodle, she wouldn't be able to resist and that a 'happy ending' would ensue. The Motel 6 guy actually shared the same ideology. Too much late night Cinemax porn can really fuck with your head these days.

10/09/09 Exhibition

The Elevator

I decided to reuse the sound bite from yesterday's clip. Who would've thought Robert Deniro's voice could so perfectly complete a video of a man retracting his nut sack to and fro? I know I know, it's amazing.

09/30/09 LULZ

Cunt Head

Yoshinoya lost his Rolex diamond watch up a hooker's fallopian tubes and sets off on a death defying expedition to recover it. Enjoy!

09/30/09 Asians

Salad Tossing 101

HAHA what the fuck! Just listen to this guy. He lured in his enemy with a blowjob and then shanked him. Fucking new age ninja tactics.

09/17/09 LULZ

Orgasm Ruined By Momma

Dudes in the middle of busting a nut when Madea comes a knocking. This is why I jack off with headphones on. Nothing comes between me and glory.

09/02/09 Busted!

Pornstar Quits Over Farting Incident

This is a scene from MEATHOLES, which was basically one of the most extreme porn sites on the web back in 2003-ish. It's funny. This girl can handle a fist while the cameraman inquires about her past, but let one slip in her face and that's where she draws the line.

08/19/09 Meatholes Fail

America's Next Top Pornstar

You stuttering, premature ejaculating son of a gun. Peter North and Ron Jeremy are already packing their bags.

08/16/09 Premature

Gangbanged By 251 Men For Nothing

The 90's - A time when fucking a quarter thousand men in the name of art somehow made sense. Talk about a resume booster!

08/09/09 LULZ

Husband Forced To Suck Cock

The forced homosexuality thing is the least of his problems. Just take one look at that haircut.

08/03/09 Cuckold

The Sex Life Of A Dwarf

Repost? Technically yes. But the addition of Beetlejuice getting titty-blasted by some random bitch makes it well worth a second viewing. I promise.

07/25/09 Mildly Retarded

Blowjob Fail

It's semen, not battery acid. Embrace the saltiness and show some appreciation.

07/21/09 LULZ

Shotgun Blast To The Vajayjay

All I can think about is the people who jack off to this shit. I envision a crowd of a thousand Japs in a dimly lit adult theater, simultaneously ejaculating just as the girl's vagina gets blown into oblivion by a point-blank blast from a 12 guage. Enthusiastic high fives, everywhere.

07/07/09 Bizarre

A Unique Friendship

Way too homoerotic for my taste, but I did get a laugh out of his 'grand finale' and the excessive use of the word "bro". Watch all the way through and you'll understand.

07/02/09 Bizarre

Horse Cock Syndrome

How exactly does one go about obtaining this "syndrome"? I got a snazzy date next Friday and I'm looking to impress.

06/23/09

Not Your Typical Pornstar

He's got a viking haircut, a 7.5 inch cock and the pussy-eating skills of a Golden Retriever. The porn industry will never be the same.

06/08/09 Mildly Retarded

Gigantic Genitalia

I'm about to take a hot shower and fap to my Elton John's Greatest Hits CD. I'll type up a video description a bit later, k?

06/04/09 Asians

Fuck The Shit Out Of Me

Ask, and ye shall recieve. I learned that in bible club

05/30/09 Orgasms

1 Guy 1 Screwdriver

Poor fella. First his cornhole and now his jimmy jammy. Only one sexual organ left to destroy - el huevos. See ya in another 3 months buddy. Okay now all of you go join the eFukt forum. The dude in these videos posts on there. For realz.

04/19/09 Extreme
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