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Hookers Arent Very Political

If all the prostitutes in America turned political, crack would be legalized and sold through vending machines. It's best we keep their faces stuffed with cock.

1,711,148 views 06/29/08 Amateur

She Cant Have Sex

If she can't fuck, then he can't fuck and that means his balls are probably sky blue just about now. Kidney stones are a bitch.

1,855,842 views 06/26/08 LULZ

Assholes Harass Ugly Woman

Ehh what do you expect. It's Lake Havasu and she's like 45. She's practically a grandma compared to everyone else there. If she wants to suck dick without getting booed by the crowd she's gonna have to go to a retirement center.

1,444,545 views 06/24/08 Public

Hey Watch Me Fuck This Slut

Look at all those wild spectators... snapping pics for their myspace. I like the one wearing the goggles and dancing with his toy shotgun. He's special.

2,170,577 views 06/22/08 Public

One Pump Chump

Technically 3 pumps but who's counting. Anyway I strongly reject the stigma surrounding premature ejaculation. What do you stand to gain by lasting longer? The sooner you're done, the sooner you can go to fridge and eat leftovers. That's what I do.

2,460,997 views 06/14/08 Premature

Pathetic Guy Begs Wife For Sex

WOOPS! Correction: pathetic guy begs wife for permission to jack off while filming her nasty asshole... and even at that she is still reluctant. Buddy, you're better off doing what I do - stroke it to yourself in the mirror.

1,609,303 views 06/14/08 LULZ

How To Become A Pornstar

Careful! Rough sex is now the standard in the adult industry. A lengthy career in porn will cost you a prolapsed rectum, torn vagina and a shitload of STD's. I'd stick to becoming a doctor if I was you.

1,912,936 views 06/06/08 Parody

Kung Fu Slut

Today I leanred that a well placed karate chop to the vaginal section can render your opponent paralyzed, giving you ample opportunity to penetrate her most tender regions.

1,928,521 views 06/05/08 Fights

Extraterrestrial Orgy

I decided to post that last bit of the ET sextape. Elliot is probably fapping to this right now, I know I am. See more alien porn HERE and HERE.

972,613 views 06/04/08 Parody

Unwanted Threesome

When this black guy was propositioned to fuck another mans wife, I don't think he knew that the husband himself planned on joining in. Pay close attention to the black dudes expression at the 30 second mark. He don't look too comfortable!

3,295,082 views 05/29/08 LULZ

Not In My Pooper

Initially she makes it pretty clear that she doesn't want anything in her ass. But our hero Johnny Cock Rocket uses the powers of persuasion and before you know it he's making sweet love to her festering cornhole. Not exactly fap worthy but if you're like me you'll fap anyway.

2,370,615 views 05/27/08 Amateur

Brutal Injury While Making Love

I'd say she was about due for a nose job anyhow.

2,453,523 views 05/22/08 Fail

He Cums In 5 Seconds Flat

His girlfriend doesn't sound too happy about his poor performance between her legs. They have anesthetic creams that work wonders for premature ejaculation. I'd say buy some.

2,340,501 views 05/20/08 Premature

It Wont Go Any Deeper

Alright so last night I was on that Ask Alice site or some shit and it says the average vagina is only 6 inches deep. So I'm dying to know how the fuck does this guy fit a 2 foot balloon in his wifes pussy?

1,511,013 views 05/19/08 Insertions

Heart Attack Orgasm

When I lost my virginity 2 weeks ago my orgasm sounded very similair to this.

1,763,539 views 05/15/08 Orgasms

Kicked While Masturbating

This woman comes up with the genius idea to masturbate under a horse. But the horse isn't cool with that so it kicks her in the back and tells her to GTFO.

3,453,488 views 05/13/08 Fail

Sex With A Cannibal

That's right, this chick flies to Africa and fucks a member of a cannibalistic tribe. Fake? Probably, although those AK-47's look relatively real. The amount of effort the Japanese put into their pornos never fails to amaze me.

3,444,735 views 05/12/08 Asians

Hotdog Down A Hallway

There's enough room in there for my penis, your penis and 3 black men's penises. Definitely not my favorite combination but hey, it fits.

1,445,316 views 05/08/08 Insertions

Porn Slut Is Fed Up

They should use super soakers to deliver the cumshots instead. You could hit a slut right between the eyes from a good 15 feet away.

1,616,521 views 05/05/08 Fail

It Wont Fit

No matter how hard he tries, his cock just wont fit in her ass. Just do what I do, use full force and if you hear a shriek then you know you're in.

2,441,434 views 05/04/08 Amateur
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