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Hung Like Bart Simpson

Dildo Baggins here could've saved himself a lot of embarrassment if he just stayed home and stuck to beating off to reruns of Captain Planet. Now he and his 4 inch celery stick have ended up on the world wide web for all to see and laugh at. Live and learn brooo.

11/27/09 FuckTeamFive LULZ

10 Inches Of Terror

That raspy lookin black bitch's reaction is fuckin PRICELESS!

11/24/09 Exhibition

OOPS! Wrong Hole!

I'd be pretty amazed/disappointed if that didn't at least cause a little internal bleeding. Emphasis on disappointed.

11/22/09 Wrong Holes

The Sherminator

Props to the ginger on his pipe laying skills. Honestly haven't heard a woman scream that loud since the time I was caught defecating in front of Blockbuster in protest to late fees accumulated on my rental of The Neverending Story 3 (director's cut). Good times.

11/20/09 Orgasms

He'll Never Do Porn Again

Failure to achieve erection OR premature ejaculation. Those are the top 2 problems most men face when trying to perform on camera. It's usually one or the other... but in this chumps case - 2 birds are killed with 1 very tiny stone.

11/17/09 Premature

Anal Creampie From Hell

It's crazy. On the outside, assholes all look the same. But if your rectum was to ever head south & emerge as a pink-sock... you'd quickly find that much like the butt plugs in Oprah Winfrey's sextoy collection, they come in all shapes, sizes and colors. 4 years of running a porn site and that's about all I've learned.

11/11/09 Prolapse

Rough Sex Fail

Some professionmal pipe layers right here. Too bad the only thing they made sore was her ear drums. Skreeem bitch skreeem!

11/09/09 LULZ

Bitch! You Broke My Dick!

Fuck porn, she belongs in MMA.

11/04/09 Fights

Endurance Fail

I like how he straight up bends his cock as a means to halt the ejaculation. It's a penis, not a fucking garden hose. Nice try though!

11/02/09 Bangbros Premature

The Inside Out Girl

Her asshole resembles the neck of a kid that's just been decapitated. Hmmm. Sounds like fap time if you ask me.

10/30/09 Prolapse

BEEP BEEP! I've Got A Boner

Beating off at home is for pussies. Real men take their meat to the street.

10/25/09 Exhibition

Yo No Quiero Butt Fuck

I posted this awhile back but the clip was ruined by god awful Mexican music. Luckily an alternative version has now surfaced. Less Ricky Martin. More cries of pain.

10/20/09 Painal

A Hole In One

Fuck. I totally left out the headshot.wav file. God damn it.

10/17/09 Brazzers Fail

The Most Miserable Pornstar Ever

Pretty sure I once saw this chick in a humanitarian commercial for Yugoslavian orphans. It's hard to forget a facial expression like that.... especially after fappin to it for 3 consecutive months.

10/07/09 Fail

Cunt Head

Yoshinoya lost his Rolex diamond watch up a hooker's fallopian tubes and sets off on a death defying expedition to recover it. Enjoy!

09/30/09 Asians

Cumshot Fail

Tojiri "vertigo" Yamamato fumbles at the 3 yard line.

09/26/09 Fail

Healthy Alternatives To Anal Sex

She rather suck off a fuckin golden retriever than take it up the butt. No joke. They even have an in depth conversation about dog cock just prior to the cumshot finale. Nothing like a little steamy dialogue to keep your noodle hard, right?

09/22/09 Meatholes Painal

Molested At Lunch Time

This is a scene from some stupid French porno called The Image. Stars that old bitch from 101 Dalmations as some sort of empowered cunt that likes to dominate. Kinda funny but not really my cup of tea. I was raised on the notion that degradation is a man's job.

09/16/09 Groped

Orgasm Ruined By Momma

Dudes in the middle of busting a nut when Madea comes a knocking. This is why I jack off with headphones on. Nothing comes between me and glory.

09/02/09 Busted!

Macho Man Cries From Anal

This is FUCKING HILARIOUS.

08/29/09 Painal
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