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How To Fuck Like A King

Damn. I could really use some service like this. At 325 pounds, I'm lucky if I can even find my cock, let alone put it to use. Sign me up for 2 whores, along with 4 beefcakes to handle all movement.

2,232,600 views 11/02/08 LULZ

You Fucked My Pussy Up

It's not your typical work-related injury, but these things do happen... especially when someone is intentionally thrusting their foot into your vagina. It could've been worse - a flesh wound via jagged toenail... that would've put her out of work for good.

1,553,658 views 10/26/08 Fail

Fattest Pussy Ever

Her vagina looks a lot like a baseball mit, same color too. If you're gonna be 69'ing her with you on bottom, do yourself a favor and bring along a snorkel.

1,616,605 views 10/24/08 Beef Curtains

Turkish Painful Anal

This one is a little open-ended. There's no money shot or anything, which gives us the opportunity to use our imaginations and draw our own conclusions. Perhaps she had a prolapse, ran off the set in humiliation, then went flat broke and turned to prostitution? Sounds about right to me.

2,468,674 views 10/22/08 Painal

Eat Your Own Pussy!

LOL @ the dialogue and fap fap fap @ the forced cunnilingus. I love these variety videos.

2,681,382 views 10/20/08 Vintage

Go Away Bro, I'm Masturbating

This is why I carry a 12oz bottle of my mace in my center console. Rest stops are great for quick 'on the road' jackoff sessions but they're almost always laden with dirty old men looking to score free peep shows. If they want to see me make love to myself, they gotta pay... otherwise it's mace to the face.

1,056,274 views 10/19/08 Busted!

No Bitch I Aint Eating Your Pussy

She tries to blame the fowl taste on the lube but that doesn't really explain the cheese whiz dripping out of her pussy. Douche with hydrogen peroxide + Mentos and get on with the show.

1,700,592 views 10/11/08 Fail

This Bitch Is Naked

1,076,768 views 10/07/08 Public

Good Porn Ruined By Shitty Music

It's a porno, not a god damn fitness video. Stop adding in the shitty keyboard-generated dance music, it drains out the sound of the woman crying and gagging on cock, which is an essential part of my fap session.

2,592,070 views 10/06/08 LULZ

I Wanna Be A Pornstar

A few tit jobs and a little lipo, and then BAM... her vagina will be generating 7 figures annually before you even know it. It'll also be generating a yellowish discharge, depending on the severity of the Herpes and Gonorrhea that she's bound to contract.

1,591,507 views 10/04/08 Modifications

He Can Suck His Own Dick

You think you've got it good? This dude has a curled mullet and a 7 inch cock that he can suck all on his own. Jealous right? Now before you do that semi backwards somersault, you should really read up on the dangers associated with autofellatio. Wouldn't want you to snap your neck or get some terrible STD.

2,080,093 views 09/28/08 Bizarre

Psycho Slut Spasms Out Of Control

This seems to be one of the rare instances where a woman can orgasm with little or no physical stimulation of the genitals. In this particular case, it looks like the deepthroating and/or gagging is what's triggering her orgasm.

2,326,969 views 09/27/08 Orgasms

Chef Boyardee Jizzes Upon Contact

Poor bastard, he's the real life version of the premature ejaculator from American Pie. I'd like to see him masturbate. All he has to do is poke his cock with his index finger and it's a done deal.

2,048,995 views 09/25/08 Premature

Tricked Into Having Gay Sex

Moral of the story: always be able to identify the person sucking your cock, unless you're totally cool with putting your sexuality in harms way. Some risks just aren't worth taking. See more guys tricked into being gay homosexuals on the BAIT BUS.

2,907,124 views 09/23/08 Bait Bus Gloryhole

Drunken Slut Has Hilarious Disaster

First off, this chick is drunk off her ass, and I mean that in a literal sense. She had a gallon of wine.. directly through her asshole. Now I always thought it was fun to poo on the floors of public restrooms, but this lady takes it to an all new level. If you've ever played Command & Conquer, think of her anus as the Ion Cannon.

2,169,670 views 09/18/08 LULZ

Search Her Pussy For Contraband

I love how this is a real procedure. They do it before admitting woman into correction facilities. Imagine having that job, getting paid to raid pussies for contraband. Imagine all the treasures you could find.

1,720,287 views 09/17/08 Groped

Youre Doing It Wrong

Wrong hole? No not quite. More like wrong fucking direction. His cock nearly pierces through the piece of skin seperating her ass from her pussy. Remember the 'chestburster' scene from Alien? Just watch...

1,961,817 views 09/15/08 Bizarre

Dying Orgasm

Just close your eyes and listen to the audio. Only time I've heard a man make sounds like that was in Al-Qaeda beheading video. See more from this awesome couple here: 1, 2 and 3.

2,044,891 views 09/10/08 Orgasms

Gangbanged On Reality TV

This is fake. This isn't a real gameshow and she isn't in real pain. 3 inch penises make girls laugh, not cry. Trust me, I know.

2,302,146 views 09/06/08 Asians

Two Feet Of Pain

He's got me beat by like one inch. Okay maybe more like 23 inches. I couldn't even satisfy a midget. But where I lack in size, I make up for with class and charm.

3,559,466 views 09/04/08 Big Dicks
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