I'm always one step ahead of female biology. When I wanna ass fuck a woman, I simply lace her Cinnamon Toast Crunch with ex-lax. Come night fall, her cornhole is as empty as Tara Reid's head. Works every time.
He wears eyeliner, listens to Marilyn Manson and has the masculinity of Richard Simmons. Was god drunk off his ass when he decided to bless this tard with a 13 inch cock or what? It should've been me you mothefucker. Meeeee.
I wonder what that must feel like... to defend yourself from a physical assault as you're in the middle of ejaculating. I'd sue the bitch - 50k in punitive damages for an orgasm ruined. No one fucks up my fap session and gets away with it for free.
I have this strong feeling that she ended up passing out with that phone still lost within her vaginal abyss. Yes I can see the headlines now: "Promiscuous college girl awakens in a drunken stupor to the sound of a ringtone echoing throughout the canals of her cunt. Surgical removal was necessary."
I'm pretty sure just about everyone gets caught having sex by their parents at some point in life. Well maybe not if you're an orphan, but it definitely happened to me. I was playing Tetris, level 34, as the neighborhood hoe performed fellatio on my Ultra Magnus. I put in a special request to mother for some Nachos Bell Grande, assuming I'd be finished prior to delivery. Needless to say my calculations were a bit off.
Well after seeing last weeks video, I think "glass jars" should top the list of "stuff not to shove up your ass" but honestly there isn't much creativty in that. Now a lemon juicer on the other hand... thats got originality written all over it.
