The short story of an old hag and her epic battle with chronic constipation. Lots of raunchy anal in this one, along with constant reminders that the bitch is in dire need of a bowel movement. Some fuckin seriously amazing screenwriting here folks.
DJ Jackoff ventures into the wrong part of town to land himself a $5 piece of ivory pussy. However, his efforts are thwarted mid-fellatio by a local warlord known as The V-Man (short for Vaginal Master) who's heavily armed with "rocks and sheet". My oh my!
No better way to celebrate your last day of singledom by sticking 2 Vienna sausages up the vadge of a $12 whore. They made a push for 3 but the sea donkey insisted her cunt was already at max capacity. Uh huh.
Everytime her son's cock gets brought up, her eyes widen like a fat kid at Taco Bell. It's pretty creepy. Almost as creepy as that basketball-sized tumor hanging from her mid section. Seriously, what the fuck is that?
These men have truly mastered the art of sexually harassing migrant workers. Bravo. But I do believe it's time to take that next step forward - The Ritz Carlton. All white maids with 34d titties. Make daddy proud.
Preggo girl is in the middle of cumming when her [minute] man declares that the apple sauce is en route for early delivery. She replies with a double "doo eet", which I believe means: "cum inside me so that I can finish my orgasm you twig dick motherfucker". The request didn't seem to catch.
I wish my parents had been as considerate in their choosing of a babysitter. For 7 years they stuck me with Ethiopian dyke that wore basketball attire exclusively. Nearly left me with an inverted penis.
Dildo Baggins here could've saved himself a lot of embarrassment if he just stayed home and stuck to beating off to reruns of Captain Planet. Now he and his 4 inch celery stick have ended up on the world wide web for all to see and laugh at. Live and learn brooo.
It's crazy. On the outside, assholes all look the same. But if your rectum was to ever head south & emerge as a pink-sock... you'd quickly find that much like the butt plugs in Oprah Winfrey's sextoy collection, they come in all shapes, sizes and colors. 4 years of running a porn site and that's about all I've learned.
I guess he figured that once she laid eyes on his 7 inch yankee doodle, she wouldn't be able to resist and that a 'happy ending' would ensue. The Motel 6 guy actually shared the same ideology. Too much late night Cinemax porn can really fuck with your head these days.
I decided to reuse the sound bite from yesterday's clip. Who would've thought Robert Deniro's voice could so perfectly complete a video of a man retracting his nut sack to and fro? I know I know, it's amazing.
I've officially seen it all. Well, almost. Still waiting on that Brian Peppers sextape to surface. Till then, my hunt for fucked up porno treasure goes on.
Usually these type of videos are designed for kids. This one's actually for adults... adults so dumb they can't tell apart their wife's pussy hole from an Arby's Beef N Cheddar. Skip to 3:38 and you'll understand.
