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Make Momma Proud

I'm pretty sure just about everyone gets caught having sex by their parents at some point in life. Well maybe not if you're an orphan, but it definitely happened to me. I was playing Tetris, level 34, as the neighborhood hoe performed fellatio on my Ultra Magnus. I put in a special request to mother for some Nachos Bell Grande, assuming I'd be finished prior to delivery. Needless to say my calculations were a bit off.

2,412,044 views 01/05/09 Busted!

Emo Fatty

I'd fuck the depression out of her.

1,163,937 views 01/03/09

Wait She Just Sucked Your Dick...

Ever meet a girl who liked to make out directly after sucking your dick and/or swallowing your load? Kinda faggoty right? Here's how to combat this atrocious trend: Toss your girls salad and get some flavor going. Then grab on to your lady's face and forcefully make out with her. Don't let her squirm away. It's imperative that she has a taste of her own medicine.

1,411,239 views 12/21/08 Mildly Retarded

Stuff You Shouldn't Put In Your Ass

Well after seeing last weeks video, I think "glass jars" should top the list of "stuff not to shove up your ass" but honestly there isn't much creativty in that. Now a lemon juicer on the other hand... thats got originality written all over it.

1,305,426 views 12/15/08 Insertions

LOL I Made You Gag

He seems pretty happy about his achievement. Try doing the same thing again except next time stick your cock in her ass first. When she comes up to blow you she won't gag, she'll just puke. It's called "ass 2 mouth". I invented it.

2,881,994 views 12/14/08 Fail

He's Not Exactly Pornstar Material

I love how he franctically jacks off even after he's already blown his load, maybe hoping to milk out one last squirt of man-goo and actually land it on her face? No such luck for this fatty arbuckle. I'll tell you though, I'm definitely diggin his torn up thong.

2,117,996 views 12/13/08 LULZ

Homeless Hooker

I found this in an article about homeless women who work out of portable toilets as prostitutes. Can you imagine actually paying this beast to suck your dick in that thing? The heavy smell of shit/hiv would be enough to cause me respiratory failure.

721,515 views 12/11/08

Amputee Porn Gone Bad

All the things that made amputee porn so great just got shitted on by whoever made this so called 'erotic film'. Amputee porn is about disabled, submissive (and usually defenseless) women being fucked by men with exceedingly large penises. I refuse to have it any other way.

2,459,822 views 12/10/08 Amputee

The Orgasm Of Death

Honestly, less than 1% of the shit I post actually makes me LOL. Anal prolapses and horse porn bloopers just don't seem to do it for me anymore. But jesus... the second I heard this guy blow ass in the opening sequence I LOL'd so hard my eyes started watering like an emo kid listening to Dashboard Confessional.

2,489,004 views 12/06/08 Orgasms

The Effects Of Interracial Sex

This dude screams as if his hand just got hacked off Blood Diamond style, either that or he just found out KFC discontinued their awesome $4.99 12 piece honey chicken meal deal. Take your pick. And sorry if this is a repost, I'm short on time. I've got a date with an 19 year old diabetic in 45 minutes. We're gonna watch Jumanji and play truth or dare at my moms house. Jealous? That's what I thought, faggot.

2,579,853 views 11/27/08 Orgasms

Coworker Caught Jacking Off

Really now, I've been caught doing worse things on the job. K-Mart, January 2002, thirty minutes before closing, pet food aisle. Me, Mrs. Dilworth and a 2 foot lava lamp straight out of the display case. Use your imagination.

2,214,465 views 11/23/08 Busted!

Stop Trying To Fuck Me

Usually when the girl flops around like a fish it means she's having a pretty intense orgasm and needs a quick time out. Dildo baggins here didn't get the memo.

3,175,200 views 11/23/08 Orgasms

Death By Vaginal Cockroach

This is from a Russian film called Philosophy Of A Knife. It's about the Japanese Unit 731... the one that pretty much spent a decade coming up with ridiculous ways to kill people. It's basically just 4 hours of torture. Fun fun fun. While we're on the subject, I'm in preproduction on a post-apocalyptic thriller about punk rock necrophiliacs. Really could use some female talent. Hit me up!

1,905,813 views 11/19/08 Bizarre

Take It Easy On Her Ass

or you just might bust it open, similair to THIS, and dats not berry nice, snarf snarf! (Yes, this is a repost. I got about 2 dozen emails from people wanting to see the full version, which is only like a minute longer but okay here it is!)

5,769,244 views 11/18/08 Painal

20 Pound Titties

This woman has a rare condition known as Gigantomastia. Basically its when you grow titties bigger than watermelons and you end up having back problems for the rest of your life. Please god, create a similar condition that affects penis growth. I can handle the back pain, I promise.

1,224,835 views 11/12/08 Gallery

Quite Possibly the Worst Stripper Ever

I like his Chuck Norris style somersault but I have mixed feelings about the use of chocolate syrup. Sure it'll easily mask the bitter taste of her cornhole but in the end how's he gonna be able to differienate syrup from shit? It's a dangerous game that salad tossing is.

1,367,596 views 11/10/08 Strippers

Cleaning Has Never Been More Fun

Fuck, that's a hell of a way to mop a floor. It's inspiring really. So how exactly would one apply this kind of creativity to cleaning up their bathroom? I've got shit stains on my toilet dating back from 1997 and the only way I'm gonna get off my ass and do something about it is if it involves a naked woman.

2,321,570 views 11/03/08 Bizarre

You Fucked My Pussy Up

It's not your typical work-related injury, but these things do happen... especially when someone is intentionally thrusting their foot into your vagina. It could've been worse - a flesh wound via jagged toenail... that would've put her out of work for good.

1,551,810 views 10/26/08 Fail

Turkish Painful Anal

This one is a little open-ended. There's no money shot or anything, which gives us the opportunity to use our imaginations and draw our own conclusions. Perhaps she had a prolapse, ran off the set in humiliation, then went flat broke and turned to prostitution? Sounds about right to me.

2,465,135 views 10/22/08 Painal

Eat Your Own Pussy!

LOL @ the dialogue and fap fap fap @ the forced cunnilingus. I love these variety videos.

2,678,677 views 10/20/08 Vintage
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