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Blowjob Fail

It's semen, not battery acid. Embrace the saltiness and show some appreciation.

07/21/09 LULZ

Extreme Anal Maintenance

If only my girlfriend shared her habits... maybe then I wouldn't end up with shit in my urethra 3 times a week.

07/01/09 Bizarre

Help! My Boobs Are Too Big!

She basically paid over $10,000 just to have her titties butchered. What kind of sick, fucked up world is this?

04/14/09 Modifications

LOL I Made You Gag

He seems pretty happy about his achievement. Try doing the same thing again except next time stick your cock in her ass first. When she comes up to blow you she won't gag, she'll just puke. It's called "ass 2 mouth". I invented it.

12/14/08 Fail

Death By Vaginal Cockroach

This is from a Russian film called Philosophy Of A Knife. It's about the Japanese Unit 731... the one that pretty much spent a decade coming up with ridiculous ways to kill people.

11/19/08 Bizarre

I Wanna Be A Pornstar

A few tit jobs and a little lipo, and then BAM... her vagina will be generating 7 figures annually before you even know it. It'll also be generating a yellowish discharge, depending on the severity of the Herpes and Gonorrhea that she's bound to contract.

10/04/08 Modifications

Make Sure My Pussy Works

She hits up the doctor cause she's having difficulty getting pregnant. I'm no gynecologist but if shaved that bush her husband would probably have an easier time finding the right hole.

09/05/08 Documentary

She Cums Nine Times

The dude sounds Popeye the Sailorman and his old lady squirts cum like a water fountain. They were born for eFukt. Thanks goes to Rod for the video.

08/28/08 Orgasms

Pornstar Gets A New Vagina

Her vagina lips looked like they belonged in an Arbys roast beef sandwhich. This was bad for her career so she set out on a perilous journey to unbeef her pussy and close the gape once and for all.

08/17/08 Beef Curtains

Newbie Ruins A Porno Shoot

This guy genuinely thought that eating your own semen was socially acceptable. In France, yeah maybe. But in the rest of the world, no, people tend to frown upon the act of ingesting your own cum. Sorry!

He Can Make A Girl Cum

In the past few months the "how to make a girl cum" video has received over a million views. One of those viewers tested out the technique on his girlfriend and sent us footage of the results. Pretty cool!

07/16/08 Amateur

Bosnian Nympho Fucks In A Bar

I should probably visit Bosnia. If girls will drop their panties for dirty old scumbags like that over there, I might still have a shot at losing my virginity afterall.

07/11/08 Public

How To Become A Pornstar

Careful! Rough sex is now the standard in the adult industry. A lengthy career in porn will cost you a prolapsed rectum, torn vagina and a shitload of STD's. I'd stick to becoming a doctor if I was you.

06/06/08 Parody

He Cums In 5 Seconds Flat

His girlfriend doesn't sound too happy about his poor performance between her legs. They have anesthetic creams that work wonders for premature ejaculation. I'd say buy some.

05/20/08 Premature

How To Eat Pussy

Fuck, I remember downloading this video off of Napster back in 1999. It taught me the pussy eating skills that I have today and is directly responsible for dozens of sexually satisfied BBW's worldwide.

05/06/08 Orgasms

Pornstar Is Fed Up

They should use super soakers to deliver the cumshots instead. You could hit a woman right between the eyes from a good 15 feet away.

05/05/08 Fail

How To Make A Girl Cum

If your penis is insufficient, watch this video and learn how to give a girl an orgasm so big that she'll giiggle like school girl and love you forever. This would be quite a change for me, most girls just spit in my face after sex. They just can't seem to appreciate ass 2 mouth.

04/19/08 Orgasms

Cumshot Chaser

The taste of cum makes her wanna puke, so she uses orange juice as a chaser. Hey at least she swallows. You know you'd hit it.

01/23/08 Amateur

Blowjob Gameshow

Dozens compete in a contest where whoever makes the man cum the fastest wins.

10/19/07 Asians

Cumshot Crossfire

It's cumshot time but one of the guys misses her face and hits some other guy's hand instead!

09/29/07 Fail
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