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Ouch! My Cock!

Looks like women aren't the only ones to suffer injuries on the sets of porno shoots. Professional taco stuffers have a few occupational hazards of their own. I suppose that as long rectal prolapses aren't on that list, being a stunt cock is still my dream job.

1,765,452 views 02/04/09 Kink.com Fail

Teacher & Student Sextape

All participant are of legal age. Read the full article HERE. I like how the 35 year old teacher squirms like a virgin whenever he sticks his teenage pecker inside her - check both he beginning and the end.

3,897,401 views 01/31/09 Amateur

1 Guy, 1 Basketball

For centuries many will wonder - how did he do it? How did one man fit an entire basketball into his anus? Vigorous week-long training sessions? Nah. Optical illusion? Nope. Homosexual superpowers that transform one's rectum into a 4th dimension gateway? I suspect so.

1,771,808 views 01/26/09 Insertions

I Lost My Cellphone In Your Vagina

I have this strong feeling that she ended up passing out with that phone still lost within her vaginal abyss. Yes I can see the headlines now: "Promiscuous college girl awakens in a drunken stupor to the sound of a ringtone echoing throughout the canals of her cunt. Surgical removal was necessary."

1,364,343 views 01/22/09 Insertions

Threesome Sabotage

Such betrayal. If you're gonna engage in multi-person hetrosexual love-making, you gotta work as a team.

2,063,547 views 01/21/09 Bizarre

Baby Got Back

Her ass protrudes more inches than my dick is long. Anal sex just wouldn't be possible with this one.

1,243,350 views 01/20/09

Pencil Dick

Never thought I'd be so jealous of a cock shaped like a Slim Jim... and a chocolate covered one at that. Always buckle up and wear a rubber when traveling down the hershey highway, head on collisions can be messy.

2,454,739 views 01/20/09 Big Dicks

Your Cock Will Never Be That Big

Luckily I'll never be exposed to such humiliation at the hands of a woman, for in my hometown of Tajikistan it's a criminal offense to mock a man's penis size, punishable by decapitation via serrated butter knife. But that's not to say a woman would ever have any reason to shame my kidney cracker to begin with. Trust me, I put horses to shame.

2,707,193 views 01/16/09 Amateur

Girl Gets Publicly Jizzed On

You always gotta be wary of those naked, middle aged men who like to prance about in red face paint. Snapping a few myspace photos with the aforementioned homosexual may seem tempting, but it's important you understand the risks involved. Watch and learn.

1,791,206 views 01/15/09 Public

The 5th Wheel

Fatty.... lurkin in the dark, watchin u be skinny and shit.

987,063 views 01/14/09

Vaginal Orgasm Via Anal Sex

Guadalupe no, not on the sheets. Those are fucking Egyptian cotton. Now his whole bedroom's gonna stink like chicken of the sea for the next month and half. But maybe you can redeem yourself by clawing at his testicles a little more?

2,771,065 views 01/14/09 Orgasms

Reverse Anal

Now this is a most excellent way to tear that thin piece of skin that separates the inside of the vagina from the poop shoot. Puncture that and your lady friend will be the first woman on earth to space dock herself. Wee! Sounds like eFukt material to me. Any volutneers? Click HERE to see a similar video.

1,755,217 views 01/09/09 Bizarre

Hurray! I lost My Virginity!

Contain yourself Ralphie, you are now a man.

2,281,882 views 01/09/09 Virgins

Gotcha By The Tail

Just to clarify, that's a woman... and she doesn't actually have a tail. That's just a large piece of vaginal beef curtain, USDA prime.

810,263 views 01/08/09

Make Momma Proud

I'm pretty sure just about everyone gets caught having sex by their parents at some point in life. Well maybe not if you're an orphan, but it definitely happened to me. I was playing Tetris, level 34, as the neighborhood hoe performed fellatio on my Ultra Magnus. I put in a special request to mother for some Nachos Bell Grande, assuming I'd be finished prior to delivery. Needless to say my calculations were a bit off.

2,412,949 views 01/05/09 Busted!

Half Woman Half Donkey

Not even for 10k would I stick my dick between those chompers. Mr. Ed would mistake my willy for a carrot and I'd get circumcised all over again.

813,107 views 01/03/09

2 Inch Penis

Nice trim job! It almost looks half an inch bigger shaved.

833,504 views 01/03/09

Vaginal Slime

It's natures lubricant.

963,050 views 12/30/08

Oops, My Pussy Farted

It's only blooper if it involves a prolapse or someone unwantedly getting poo on their wang. That's the eFukt standard, you all know that. But for this, I just had to make an exception.

1,495,556 views 12/29/08 Kink.com Fail

The Dumbest Sex Device Ever Built

That doesn't even look too fun. Her tits look like tomatoes on the verge of exploding. I never realized breasts were so durable. Not only do they come in handy for whatever the fuck you'd call this shit, but they also serve as excellent punching bags. They're multipurpose, unlike my penis.

1,496,490 views 12/28/08 Bizarre
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