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Surfer Bro Cums In 30 Seconds!

Stick to riding waves bud. Fucking bitches on camera ain't your thing. #Cowabunga

Super Mom

This is ex-pornstar Tiffany Million. She exited the adult industry in 1994 to become a Bounty Hunter in Arizona, which was later turned into a reality TV show. Unlike most of the 2 bit whores in the business, Tiffany actually has some personality. She's funny as fuck and has an upbeat attitude to match, which makes beating off to her videos all the more rewarding.

05/17/10 LULZ

The Speechless Slut

Some basic questioning by the cameraman renders this pornstar completely brain dead. So bad she cant even remember how to perform her signature move - a rimjob.

05/11/10 Meatholes Fail

The Craziest Of All Crazy Bitches

Who the fuck refers to stripping butt naked in Grand Central Station as a 'declaration of indviduality'? The same person that dubs themselves a multimedia conceptual performance artist. I believe that's just fancy talk for stupid crackwhore.

05/06/10 Exhibition

Blumpkins Really Do Exist

Male pornstar goes where no male pornstar has gone before: to the bathroom... whilst getting his dick sucked. Sounded like a wet one too. Guess this ends the century-long debate that blumpkins are merely an object of fucked up folklore. Another score for modern civilization.

05/05/10 Fail

Time To Retire

I cant even imagine how many jackoff sessions came to a halt after this saggy-assed dinosaur stepped in front of the camera. How the fuck are you supposed to beat off when 50% of the screen is devoted to the puckering balloon knot of a gay porn veteran? Honestly...

04/25/10 Bizarre

Do Not Want

A car full of Canadian hooligans armed with a VHS camcorder stumble upon a crackwhore that likes to show off the brown eye. Honestly... for someone that hasn't wiped their ass since 1993, her cornhole surprisingly didn't look all that bad.

04/12/10 Nasty

Autofellatio Fail

wait for it...

04/04/10 Tranny

Bachelor Party - eFukt style

No better way to celebrate your last day of singledom by sticking 2 Vienna sausages up the vadge of a $12 whore. They made a push for 3 but the sea donkey insisted her cunt was already at max capacity. Uh huh.

03/05/10 Insertions

I'll Fuck You Up

Russian bitch spazzes the fuck out for no apparent reason and then tries to claim she was just "acting." Yep, no better way to enhance a porn scene than by acting like a demonic crackwhore with Tourette syndrome.

02/28/10 Fail

Crackwhore Confesses To Incest!

Everytime her son's cock gets brought up, her eyes widen like a fat kid at Taco Bell. It's pretty creepy. Almost as creepy as that basketball-sized tumor hanging from her mid section. Seriously, what the fuck is that?

02/14/10 Hookers

He'll Never Do Porn Again

Failure to achieve erection OR premature ejaculation. Those are the top 2 problems most men face when trying to perform on camera. It's usually one or the other... but in this chumps case - 2 birds are killed with 1 very tiny stone.

11/17/09 Premature

Molested At Lunch Time

This is a scene from some stupid French porno called The Image. Stars that old bitch from 101 Dalmations as some sort of empowered cunt that likes to dominate. Kinda funny but not really my cup of tea. I was raised on the notion that degradation is a man's job.

09/16/09 Groped

Pornstar Quits Over Farting Incident

This is a scene from MEATHOLES, which was basically one of the most extreme porn sites on the web back in 2003-ish. It's funny. This girl can handle a fist up her cunt while the cameraman inquires about her childhood, but let one slip in her face and that's where she draws the line.

08/19/09 Meatholes Fail

Prisoners Of Whore

The storylines on these Japanese pornos are really hard to follow. I vote less plot and more eels.

03/10/09 Asians

Butthole Obliteration

If Twitter was popular in 2009, a social media campaign could have made this a serious case for Depends Undergarment's first official sponsor of an amateur porn video. I consider it a lost opportunity really.

02/25/09 Painal

The Inner Demon

The first thing that came to mind was the chest burster scene from Alien. The second thing that came to mind was the giant worm-like monsters from Tremors. You see where I'm going with this? Put those two together and you have what this woman's asshole looks like. Swear to fuck I saw some teeth.

12/01/08 Prolapse

How To Fuck Like A King

Damn. I could really use some service like this. At 325 pounds, I'm lucky if I can even find my cock, let alone put it to use. Sign me up for 2 whores, along with 4 beefcakes to handle all movement.

11/02/08 LULZ

Butthole Damaged After Anal Sex

Here's yet another video of a woman suffering from bodily damage after granting a large cock permission to penetrate her brown eye. To be honest, I think this one is a tranny but that's besides the point. I want to know where those 2 giant raisins dangling from her asshole came from?

10/09/08 Painal

Pissed Off Crackwhore

She's coked out and on the rag. If that isn't an invitation for AIDS I don't know what is. Luckily this skank got kicked off the set before anyone had a chance to stick their dick in festering pussy hole.

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