She's got a unique look. It's two parts concentration camp, one part Glamour Girls. If anyone's interested in a wager, I have Season 6 of Bill Nye the Science Guy on bluray that says my pet chinchilla drops bigger deuces than this chick. More of her HERE.
Working the graveyard shift usually sucks Golden Retriever dick, but it's not entirely absent of perks. During my tenure at the 24 hour Rite Aid, I enjoyed a 10% increase in pay and unadulterated access to the ice cream station. But as for complimentary blowjobs from tresspassing prostitutes... that one's all up to this smooth talking Apu.
UPDATE: this girl actually emailed me, here's the background story - she lives in a KKK-laden town where 12 inch black wangs are the forbidden fruit. Undeterred, she sought salvation on blackplanet.com and ultimately bit off more BBC than her vagina could chew.
This girl has 1 of the nicest racks I've ever seen. But bundle that with an extremely frigid personality & you then have the biggest disappointment since Macaulay Culkin's The Pagemaster. Seriously, this chick's so uptight she wont even do a facial. It's tragic.
Pug-faced Hispanic drinks herself so numb she doesn't even notice when last night's chimichanga is hanging halfway out her asshole. Her laugh is as bad as her hygiene. Sounds like something Steven Urkel would emit while making love to the dude from Wonder Years. Watch this one all the way through.
This girl has an emotional breakdown immediately following a facial. I initially assumed the obvious - dude must love his jumbo asparagus. But upon a 2nd viewing, I spotted a wedding band on the left hand. This is the part where I'm supposed to call her a whore. Personally, I'd rather just comfort her and smell her butt. I'm romantic like that.
If there's one thing that never fails to get a fuckload of clicks - it's videos of unexpected butt love. So here's 8 of em. That's right, EIGHT, as in the number of times I defecated after eating crab wontons at P.F. Changs. Enjoy.
Check her twat at the 1.55 mark. After no more than 15 seconds of diddling her clit, shit becomes the Niagra Falls of vaginal discharge. Camera dude says it's cum. I have 5 bucks and case of diet Mr. Pibb that says it's forgotten creampie from yesteryear.
What's life's greatest mystery? god? aliens? why Lionsgate allows Tyler Perry to continue directing films? How about how the fuck this 46 year old poster boy for NAMBLA managed to pull a Russian model half his age, only to vow abstinence for half a fucking decade?
It's all fun n' games till you got a 14 inch dong knocking on the pearly gates of your anus. The pain hits her like a bag of Saved By The Bell VHS tapes, but this trooper refuses to quit. Some might call it desperation for a quick $450. I prefer the term 'integrity'.
Shit lady, as much as I loved you in the finale of Army of Darkness, I really think I could've lived without seeing you get fucked cross eyed by Oscar De La Hoya. This shit nearly left my cock inverted.
Poor chick. Freshly brainwashed by a 24 hour marathon of Pimp My Ride, she actually thought getting anally gangbanged by Jamal, Jamal, Jamal and Donatello would be fun. Thanks be to hemorrhoids, the reality check comes with the quickness.
KEY POINTS: she has not and will not fuck - (gypsy's orders), crotch shots are strictly prohbited and vibrators... well, those are as foreign to her as a condom in a Botswana whorehouse. Filmed by the legendary pioneer of gonzo porn - Ed Powers.
7 inch cock? Check. Syphilis free? Probably. Can make a girl cum? Not a fucking chance. Have yourself a hearty LOL as Jose's porn dreams go down the shitter faster than Steven Segal's music career.
She's half Korean, half Mexican. That means she's pro at math and will have around 17 kids by this time next year. Not really. This girl actually just likes to smoke weed and take pictures of her massive ass - both of which are combined today in ways you cant even fathom. OOOOH YEAH.
This is actually pretty genius. Too bad it was shot in Japan, where the only thing capable of raising eyebrows is Jackie Chan doing a triple somersault directly into Lindsey Lohan's vagina. But it's okay. The lack of reactions is counteracted by a homoerotic remix of some Dr. Dre.
Over 40 bukkake shoots and the closest this dude's come to delivering a facial was the time he soiled himself in a dark corner. But today's a game changer. Via the aid of a compassionate fluffer, this orange-haired bastard finally gets a legitimate taste of manhood.
Sativa Rose nearly shits bricks Quepapas after realizing she's been duped into doing a quasi-bukkake. Haven't seen a Mexican get this fiesty since the time i got caught sniffing second-hand chones at the local swapmeet, wearing nothing but jesus sandals.
