The Return Of 'Gentle Breakdown' Girl

Remember the frigid chick that randomly started sobbing in the middle of a Rocco shoot? It was actually pretty touching, to both my heart & my penis. But apparently that encounter was only chapter 1 in a saga of piss-poor decisions.

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The Luckiest Virgin On Earth

What in the cornbread skidmark hell is going on with this generation? Once upon a time having the genetic configuration of a Madagascar tomato frog would limit your partners to Walmart shoppers. Now? No one even pumps the brakes. Support [HERE] [HERE] and [HERE]

11/27/23 Bizarre

Awkward Moments in Porn 9

Today we're rounding third on a baker's dozens worth of boner-deflating cringe collections so bleak, you'll wonder what the point of sexual intercourse even is anymore. Just load up one of those Choose Your Own Adventure Hentai VR fantasies, and fuck the Hamtaros out of a face-swapped Charizard until you feel alive again.

The Caught Compilation 23

Another vigorous pairing of perverted miscreants that would be better suited opening at the Gathering of the Juggalos instead of having freedom of choice in a semi-coherent society.

Oscar-Worthy Anal

We're gonna need that statue back, Leo.

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The Absolute Worst Of Pornhub XIV

The more this behavior becomes mainstream, the harder it's going to be to come back from. Just ask the portfolios of any person that's posted on r/wallstreetbets. [more here]

Real Virgin Gives It His All

Somebody in the original comments was yappin about no proof this is his first time. My main man; 3 seconds of glazing over this specimen's choice in facial hair, vocabulary and thinking CPR is a form a cunnilingus says otherwise. Peep another awkward rookie [here].

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Cum Haters 2024

It truly never ends. Let's just label this one the Shawshank Redemption of "wtf, your load tastes like Alan Greenspan's deceased asshole" Alan probably isn't actually dead, but I trust that the implied mental image is still effective. Game on.

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Shit Pornstars Say 4

I imagine this is what happens when all of your knowledge of the English language comes from Pizza Hut commercials and TikTok. In fact, I may have just uncovered a form of communication so useless that California colleges might start offering 4-year degrees in it.

Psycho Pornstar Gets Donkey Punched

A disgruntled pornstar is having a bad day, and everything that comes out of this thot's mouth is either penis related or comedy gold. She non-stop says crazy shit until her co-stars feel forced to shut her up.

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The Bukkake Horror Show

It's hard being a 425 pound pornstar with a cock comparable to that of a newborn Chinchilla. Ay, Carumba!

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Rookie Thinks Anal Is Easy

Meet Ava. She's 19, highly optimistic and isn't afraid of a challenge. Unfortunately only two situations leave a person with this kind of mess to clean up. Post-anal or post-white castle? You be the judge.

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