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Even Jocks Premature Ejaculate

Contrary to his appearance, endurance really isn't this chumps specialty. To call him a minute-man would be a compliment. But all of that's okay when you have big muscles.

04/26/10 Premature

I Lost My Virginity To A Dog

Perhaps my logic in somewhat flawed - but you'd think that someone who's devoted their life to sucking animal dick would at least have the courtesy to convert to vegetarianism. You heartless bitch.

03/10/10 LULZ

Orgasm Interrupted By Phone Call

Here's another video with that one girl who has orgasmic convulsions every time something big and black is stuck between her legs.

02/28/10 Orgasms

My Sister Caught Me Masturbating

Mr. big dick hot shot is reduced to a little bitch in 5 seconds flat after his sister walks in on his cybersex extravaganza.

02/23/10 Busted!

Hi, My Penis Is 3 Feet Long

Shit. If my cock that was big, I'd throw on my limited edition Bugle Boy jean shorts and hit the boardwalk.

01/26/10 Asians

Orgasm Fail

Preggo girl is in the middle of cumming when her [minute] man declares that the apple sauce is en route for early delivery. She replies with a double "doo eet", which I believe means: "cum inside me so that I can finish my orgasm you twig dick motherfucker". The request didn't seem to catch.

12/08/09 Premature

The Blob

He can brag about his 20 pound meat bag all he wants. If it doesn't get hard, then it's about as useful as a black hooker at a blood drive.

11/19/09 WTF

Bitch! You Broke My Dick!

Fuck porn, she belongs in MMA.

11/04/09 Fights

Big Penises Cause Big Problems

His cock is so big it's capable of causing fatal internal damage. I've never been so jealous in my life.

07/15/09 Fail

Help! My Boobs Are Too Big!

She basically paid over $10,000 just to have her titties butchered. What kind of sick, fucked up world is this?

04/14/09 Modifications

Oink Oink Suck My Dick

For a minute there, I was actually beginning to lose faith in Japan's ability to consistently create the most fucked up, ridiculous adult films known to man. Then I was introduced to the latest and greatest - 'anamorphic animal porn'. Pure win.

03/30/09 Asians

Let Yo Dick Swang

I wonder how often he accidentally breaks a girls nose doing all that high speed cock slapping? or does that only happen when the bitch stiffs him on his much deserved dollar tip?

02/11/09 Strippers

Baby Got Back

Her ass protrudes more inches than my dick is long. Anal sex just wouldn't be possible with this one.

01/20/09

Pencil Dick

Never thought I'd be so jealous of a cock shaped like a Slim Jim... and a chocolate covered one at that. Always buckle up and wear a rubber when traveling down the hershey highway, head on collisions can be messy.

01/20/09 Big Dicks

Your Cock Will Never Be That Big

Luckily I'll never be exposed to such humiliation at the hands of a woman, for in my hometown of Tajikistan it's a criminal offense to mock a man's penis size, punishable by decapitation via serrated butter knife. But that's not to say a woman would ever have any reason to shame my kidney cracker to begin with. Trust me, I put horses to shame.

01/16/09 Amateur

2 Inch Penis

Nice trim job! It almost looks half an inch bigger shaved.

01/03/09

Wait She Just Sucked Your Dick...

Ever meet a girl who liked to make out directly after sucking your dick and/or swallowing your load? Here's how to combat this atrocious trend: Toss your girls salad and get some flavor going.

12/21/08 Mildly Retarded

Who Needs Big Tits?

Perhaps she doesn't. But what she does need is a paper bag. Guess where I want her to put it?

12/18/08

Homeless Hooker

I found this in an article about homeless women who work out of portable toilets as prostitutes. Can you imagine actually paying this beast to suck your dick in that thing? The heavy smell of shit/hiv would be enough to cause me respiratory failure.

12/11/08

His Dick Wasn't Big Enough

When your penis just can't get the job done, you gotta resort to other body parts. In this video the guy uses his foot, but keep in mind you can always skull fuck them too. Just shave your head 1st for the sake of hygiene.

11/07/08 Insertions
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