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She HATES Blowjobs LOL

When you weigh as much as the couch you're nesting on... performing fellatio is practically considered "exercise". Naturally she's not a fan. What's special though is her mock enthusiasm right at the end. You can literally see calories being burned as she imitates the standard pornstar approach to sucking dick. It's mesmerizing.

2,228,471 views 06/27/10 LULZ

Lemme Smell Yo Dick

One of the shittiest XXX films I've seen in my time... edited down to a cool 60 seconds. It's nothing amazing but fuck... it's got a plot revolving around accusations of sheep rape and worse acting than a Segal flick. How could I not post it?

2,278,870 views 06/27/10 Vintage

Drug Mule In Training

Everyone is born with a gift. Hers is a colon that doubles as a footlocker in between flights from Thailand to the good ol' USA. Watch in utter amazement as she demonstrates her maximum storage capacity.

1,854,126 views 06/22/10 Insertions

Is It In Yet

Hector and his 2.5 inch pop gun (their measurements, not mine) get an earful of criticism after disappointing a gang of size queens... and nailing himself in the forehead with his own payload. Sorry friend but I think it's best you take your cocktail sausage and head on back to that strawberry field you done crawled up out of.

6,989,817 views 06/07/10 FuckTeamFive LULZ

Before & After

An upclose look at the genitalia of a Brazillian gutterslut directly before and after having an intimate encounter with Jamal Jones Jr the 3rd. The rectal damage is top shelf.

4,055,977 views 05/21/10 Prolapse

Meanwhile in Russia...

Dude unwittingly got himself a front row seat to Russia's biggest shit extravaganza.

3,366,470 views 05/16/10 LULZ

Girl Got HIV After Doing Anal

This is the story of Lara Roxx - a French Canadian who's career as a hardcore pornstar was derailed before it even began. She contracted HIV just after her first shoot - which involved taking 2 fat cocks up the ass simultaneously... aka "double anal"... aka just beggin for a blood transfusion.

2,892,127 views 05/13/10 Documentary

Blumpkins Really Do Exist

Male pornstar goes where no male pornstar has gone before: to the bathroom... whilst getting his dick sucked. Sounded like a wet one too. Guess this ends the century-long debate that blumpkins are merely an object of fucked up folklore. Another score for modern civilization.

3,054,251 views 05/05/10 Fail

Even Jocks Premature Ejaculate

Contrary to his appearance, endurance really isn't this chumps speciality. His load is spent quicker than a black man's paycheck. To call him a minute-man would be a compliment. But all of that's okay when you have big muscles.

3,036,570 views 04/26/10 Premature

Time To Retire

I cant even imagine how many jackoff sessions came to a halt after this saggy-assed dinosaur stepped in front of the camera. How the fuck are you supposed to beat off when 50% of the screen is devoted to the puckering balloon knot of a gay porn veteran? Honestly...

3,854,479 views 04/25/10 Bizarre

Who Wants Lasagna

First he bulldozes her ass till his cock turns brown. Then he moves up an orifice and gives her twat some chocolate-coated TLC... which is pretty much guaranteed to result in a wicked case of vaginitis but lets not spoil the fun. All things come to an end after he asks the most amazing question ever uttered in a pornographic film - "who wants lasagna?"

3,335,866 views 03/21/10 LULZ

The Prune Brothers

The short story of an old hag and her epic battle with chronic constipation. Lots of raunchy anal in this one, along with constant reminders that the bitch is in dire need of a bowel movement. Some fuckin seriously amazing screenwriting here folks.

2,627,466 views 03/16/10 LULZ

I Lost My Virginity To A Dog

Perhaps my logic in somewhat flawed - but you'd think that someone who's devoted their life to sucking animal dick would at least have the courtesy to convert to vegetarianism. You heartless bitch.

3,187,919 views 03/10/10 LULZ

Orgasm Interrupted By Phone Call

Here's another video with that one slut who has orgasmic convulsions everytime something big and black is stuck between her legs.

1,653,728 views 02/28/10 Orgasms

My Sister Caught Me Masturbating

Mr. big dick hot shot is reduced to a little bitch in 5 seconds flat after his sister walks in on his cybersex extravaganza.

3,831,612 views 02/23/10 Busted!

Hi, My Penis Is 3 Feet Long

Shit. If my cock that was big, I'd throw on my limited edition Bugle Boy jean shorts and hit the boardwalk.

4,692,710 views 01/26/10 Asians

A Colonoscopy Before Anal

Chester's awfully eager to do some butt fuckin but fears his wanky might come out lookin like a Snickers bar [bitesize of course]. Luckily this Jap has access to cutting edge medical technology - a Feces Detector 3000. Kinda gross, but I find his dedication to 'safe sex' rather admirable.

4,930,239 views 01/01/10 Asians

Orgasm Fail

Preggo girl is in the middle of cumming when her [minute] man declares that the apple sauce is en route for early delivery. She replies with a double "doo eet", which I believe means: "cum inside me so that I can finish my orgasm you twig dick motherfucker". The request didn't seem to catch.

4,531,418 views 12/08/09 Premature

10 Inches Of Terror

That raspy lookin black bitch's reaction is fuckin PRICELESS!

3,761,626 views 11/24/09 Exhibition

The Blob

He can brag about his 20 pound meat bag all he wants. If it doesn't get hard, then it's about as useful as a black hooker at a blood drive.

1,487,042 views 11/19/09 WTF
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