Short of being an extra on Rocco's Retirement Village Tour (coming 2035) I'm not sure how these talents come in handy. Never knowing the feels of a consensual relationship maybe? An existence without having to shop for birthday gifts? idk man
Flipping the Minnow, Clubbing the Chimp, Procrastabating, Shaking Hands with Bruce Willis - Call it what you want. I refer to it as the only reason to leave the house other than to stock up on Mr. Pibb and fried dough. Shoutouts to feminism for empowering these women.
Maybe you've already seen the clip at 2:00. It seems to have spread across the Internet faster than gonorrhea during Burning Man weekend. But the rest is definitely worth a spot amongst your 36 hour doom scroll. More public shame[ing] [here]
We had to go back, way back and deep into the pornography archives of the 1970's. All those hours of sifting through pale, over exposed bodies and bush was worth it to uncover this beautiful forgotten gem.
There's just no hiding from your past once you pull the trigger on something like this. Their Ross Store wardrobes will be forever stained. The regret can't be washed off. And the $27 paycheck isn't enough to drink the memories away. #crankthattherapist
A truly beautiful ballad about a girl that makes pterodactyl sex noises and a man that pulls off one of the most amazing sexual achievements ever filmed. I think we all wish we had a little Jimmy in us.
A girl down on her luck turns to porn for some quick cash to get back on her feet, but what follows is one of the worst porn spectacles I've ever seen.
For a guy that regularly goes super saiyan on bench warming OnlyFans girls, you'd think he'd have a pretty consistently heterosexual record under his belt. Well... [more here]
Not the first time I've seen a girl that got me through those awkward high school years trying to erase her past, but it might be the most indisputable. Silly goose, you can't just replace us with Twitch simps and expect us to forget lol
Don't let the confidence in her voice fool you: This cholita's ability to withstand pain is about as real as her soggy pancakes in a pushup bra. As illustrated by his first, second and 17th attempt to keep a decent rhythm in her poo canoe. The end result? Well... you'll see.
Another chapter closed in a book that Barnes & Noble insists on displaying in the Sci-Fi section. Normally read in the dimly lit corner of a trailer park that doesn't show up on Google maps, surrounded by Newports and half-eaten cans of Costco's finest meatball ravioli.
