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Prisoners Of Whore

The storylines on these Japanese pornos are really hard to follow. I vote less plot and more eels.

1,573,338 views 03/10/09 Asians

Guess What She Ate For Lunch

I'll give you a hint - it's a vegetable that shares it's name with an incredibly shitty nu metal band whose fans always wear black nail polish and amazingly have smaller penises than myself (sub 3.75 inches). This is too easy.

1,817,266 views 03/08/09 LULZ

A Kodak Moment

Sisters on the left and right. Mommy in the middle. And a white washed Tay Zonday in the back. Lovin it.

764,204 views 03/06/09

Soccer Mom

Whenever she makes the unfortunate decision to reproduce, I bet you the doctors in the delivery room will just have her stand up and let gravity take it's course. The little fucker will fall right out.

1,874,873 views 03/02/09 Insertions

Cleanup On Orifice Number 1

This is a fetish known as 'cuckold cleanup'. Usually it involves a closet homosexual who gets off on pimpin his wife out to random strangers. Often the husband will sit in the corner and actually videotape as his significant other gets pounded by foreign cock. Once the creampie has been injected, it's like 'all you can eat' night at Red Lobster. Yum yum eat em up.

1,597,786 views 02/21/09 Cuckold

I Wouldn't Shake Her Hand

But I would stick it in her ass, assuming her clean-up measures for urban number 2's are slightly more sanitary than what's displayed in this video.

1,534,416 views 02/09/09 Bizarre

Beverage Holder

Just don't put any cups in your ass and you'll be okay.

754,161 views 02/07/09

Meatiest Pussy Of All Time

Mmmm medium rare - spledid, my favorite. Just pass me the salt & pepper and I'll be good to go. See more HERE.

1,483,434 views 02/01/09 Beef Curtains

Teacher & Student Sextape

All participant are of legal age. Read the full article HERE. I like how the 35 year old teacher squirms like a virgin whenever he sticks his teenage pecker inside her - check both he beginning and the end.

3,897,311 views 01/31/09 Amateur

Pencil Dick

Never thought I'd be so jealous of a cock shaped like a Slim Jim... and a chocolate covered one at that. Always buckle up and wear a rubber when traveling down the hershey highway, head on collisions can be messy.

2,454,632 views 01/20/09 Big Dicks

Your Cock Will Never Be That Big

Luckily I'll never be exposed to such humiliation at the hands of a woman, for in my hometown of Tajikistan it's a criminal offense to mock a man's penis size, punishable by decapitation via serrated butter knife. But that's not to say a woman would ever have any reason to shame my kidney cracker to begin with. Trust me, I put horses to shame.

2,707,135 views 01/16/09 Amateur

Girl Gets Publicly Jizzed On

You always gotta be wary of those naked, middle aged men who like to prance about in red face paint. Snapping a few myspace photos with the aforementioned homosexual may seem tempting, but it's important you understand the risks involved. Watch and learn.

1,791,153 views 01/15/09 Public

The 5th Wheel

Fatty.... lurkin in the dark, watchin u be skinny and shit.

987,050 views 01/14/09

Vaginal Orgasm Via Anal Sex

Guadalupe no, not on the sheets. Those are fucking Egyptian cotton. Now his whole bedroom's gonna stink like chicken of the sea for the next month and half. But maybe you can redeem yourself by clawing at his testicles a little more?

2,771,033 views 01/14/09 Orgasms

Reverse Anal

Now this is a most excellent way to tear that thin piece of skin that separates the inside of the vagina from the poop shoot. Puncture that and your lady friend will be the first woman on earth to space dock herself. Wee! Sounds like eFukt material to me. Any volutneers? Click HERE to see a similar video.

1,755,186 views 01/09/09 Bizarre

Gotcha By The Tail

Just to clarify, that's a woman... and she doesn't actually have a tail. That's just a large piece of vaginal beef curtain, USDA prime.

810,258 views 01/08/09

Make Momma Proud

I'm pretty sure just about everyone gets caught having sex by their parents at some point in life. Well maybe not if you're an orphan, but it definitely happened to me. I was playing Tetris, level 34, as the neighborhood hoe performed fellatio on my Ultra Magnus. I put in a special request to mother for some Nachos Bell Grande, assuming I'd be finished prior to delivery. Needless to say my calculations were a bit off.

2,412,897 views 01/05/09 Busted!

Half Woman Half Donkey

Not even for 10k would I stick my dick between those chompers. Mr. Ed would mistake my willy for a carrot and I'd get circumcised all over again.

813,097 views 01/03/09

Oops, My Pussy Farted

It's only blooper if it involves a prolapse or someone unwantedly getting poo on their wang. That's the eFukt standard, you all know that. But for this, I just had to make an exception.

1,495,531 views 12/29/08 Kink.com Fail

The Dumbest Sex Device Ever Built

That doesn't even look too fun. Her tits look like tomatoes on the verge of exploding. I never realized breasts were so durable. Not only do they come in handy for whatever the fuck you'd call this shit, but they also serve as excellent punching bags. They're multipurpose, unlike my penis.

1,496,458 views 12/28/08 Bizarre
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