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Shotgun Blast To The Vajayjay

All I can think about is the people who jack off to this shit. I envision a crowd of a thousand Japs in a dimly lit adult theater, simultaneously ejaculating just as the girl's vagina gets blown into oblivion by a point-blank blast from a 12 guage. Enthusiastic high fives, everywhere.

07/07/09 Bizarre

Gigantic Genitalia

I'm about to take a hot shower and fap to my Elton John's Greatest Hits CD. I'll type up a video description a bit later, k?

06/04/09 Asians

All Girls Love Assholes

Especially fat ones. Dinner time!

05/28/09 Amateur

Racist Porn From The 70's

Complete with a negro version of quasimoto. Warning in advance to my beloved caucasian viewers, black-on-white racism lies within!

05/01/09 Vintage

Oink Oink Suck My Dick

For a minute there, I was actually beginning to lose faith in Japan's ability to consistently create the most fucked up, ridiculous adult films known to man. Then I was introduced to the latest and greatest - 'anamorphic animal porn'. Pure win.

03/30/09 Asians

Prisoners Of Whore

The storylines on these Japanese pornos are really hard to follow. I vote less plot and more eels.

03/10/09 Asians

Soccer Mom

Whenever she makes the unfortunate decision to reproduce, I bet you the doctors in the delivery room will just have her stand up and let gravity take it's course. The little fucker will fall right out.

03/02/09 Insertions

Let Yo Dick Swang

I wonder how often he accidentally breaks a girls nose doing all that high speed cock slapping? or does that only happen when the bitch stiffs him on his much deserved dollar tip?

02/11/09 Strippers

Wait She Just Sucked Your Dick...

Ever meet a girl who liked to make out directly after sucking your dick and/or swallowing your load? Kinda faggoty right? Here's how to combat this atrocious trend: Toss your girls salad and get some flavor going. Then grab on to your lady's face and forcefully make out with her. Don't let her squirm away. It's imperative that she has a taste of her own medicine.

12/21/08 Mildly Retarded

Death By Vaginal Cockroach

This is from a Russian film called Philosophy Of A Knife. It's about the Japanese Unit 731... the one that pretty much spent a decade coming up with ridiculous ways to kill people. It's basically just 4 hours of torture. Fun fun fun. While we're on the subject, I'm in preproduction on a post-apocalyptic thriller about punk rock necrophiliacs. Really could use some female talent. Hit me up!

11/19/08 Bizarre

Black Cock Causes Bodily Damage

Not quite a prolapse but it might as well be. Her asshole looks a slice of damaged grapefruit and her vagina... hmmm... I'm gonna go with a cut of ahi tuna - burnt on the edges, raw in the center. Updating this site always makes me hungry.

09/20/08 Asians

Gangbanged On Reality TV

This is fake. This isn't a real gameshow and she isn't in real pain. 3 inch penises make girls laugh, not cry. Trust me, I know.

09/06/08 Asians

Bitch You Got A Yeast Infection

This is probably why you don't see that many male performers bragging about their profession... cause they all got warts on their dicks and have to eat out girls like this! Yum yums.

08/04/08 Fail

Pornstar Attacks Male Performer

Eventually one of these girls is just gonna end up biting someones dick off during a throat fuck session. Trust me, I'll be the first to post it.

07/18/08 Meatholes Fights

Bosnian Slut Fucks In A Bar

I should probably visit Bosnia. If girls will drop their panties for dirty old scumbags like that over there, I might still have a shot at losing my virginity afterall.

07/11/08 Public

The Price Of Sleeping Over

Sure dude, you can spend the night. All you have to do is suck my cock in the morning. If only that approach worked on girls.

07/03/08 Amateur

Kung Fu Slut

Today I leanred that a well placed karate chop to the vaginal section can render your opponent paralyzed, giving you ample opportunity to penetrate her most tender regions.

06/05/08 Fights

Sex With A Cannibal

That's right, this chick flies to Africa and fucks a member of a cannibalistic tribe. Fake? Probably, although those AK-47's look relatively real. The amount of effort the Japanese put into their pornos never fails to amaze me.

05/12/08 Asians

How To Make A Girl Cum

If your penis is insufficient, watch this video and learn how to give a girl an orgasm so big that she'll giiggle like school girl and love you forever. This would be quite a change for me, most girls just spit in my face after sex. They just can't seem to appreciate ass 2 mouth.

04/19/08 Orgasms

Girls Should Never Go To This Club

I wonder how much these male dancers make. Getting paid to strip girls naked sounds like the job I was born for.

04/17/08 Groped
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