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He'll Never Do Porn Again

Failure to achieve erection OR premature ejaculation. Those are the top 2 problems most men face when trying to perform on camera. It's usually one or the other... but in this chumps case - 2 birds are killed with 1 very tiny stone.

11/17/09 Premature

Anal Creampie From Hell

It's crazy. On the outside, assholes all look the same. But if your rectum was to ever head south & emerge as a pink-sock... you'd quickly find that much like the butt plugs in Oprah Winfrey's sextoy collection, they come in all shapes, sizes and colors. 4 years of running a porn site and that's about all I've learned.

11/11/09 Prolapse

A Hole In One

Fuck. I totally left out the headshot.wav file.

10/17/09 Brazzers Fail

Quit Fapping & GTFO

I guess he figured that once she laid eyes on his 7 inch yankee doodle, she wouldn't be able to resist and that a 'happy ending' would ensue. The Motel 6 guy actually shared the same ideology. Too much late night Cinemax porn can really fuck with your head these days.

10/09/09 Exhibition

The Most Miserable Pornstar Ever

Pretty sure I once saw this chick in a humanitarian commercial for Yugoslavian orphans. It's hard to forget a facial expression like that.... especially after fappin to it for 3 consecutive months.

10/07/09 Fail

Cunt Head

Yoshinoya lost his Rolex diamond watch up a hooker's fallopian tubes and sets off on a death defying expedition to recover it. Enjoy!

09/30/09 Asians

Sharing Is Caring

Snowballing? Fuck that. I'd rather toss my girlfriend's salad directly after shitting out 2 pounds of kung pao chicken than be orally introduced to my own man jam. Too many calories bro.

09/14/09 LULZ

Anal With Constipated Girlfriend

I'm always one step ahead of female biology. When I wanna ass fuck a woman, I simply lace her Cinnamon Toast Crunch with ex-lax. Come night fall, her cornhole is as empty as Tara Reid's head. Works every time.

09/09/09 LULZ

Pornstar Quits Over Farting Incident

This is a scene from MEATHOLES, which was basically one of the most extreme porn sites on the web back in 2003-ish. It's funny. This girl can handle a fist while the cameraman inquires about her past, but let one slip in her face and that's where she draws the line.

08/19/09 Meatholes Fail

Gangbanged By 251 Men For Nothing

The 90's - A time when fucking a quarter thousand men in the name of art somehow made sense. Talk about a resume booster!

08/09/09 LULZ

The Sex Life Of A Dwarf

Repost? Technically yes. But the addition of Beetlejuice getting titty-blasted by some random bitch makes it well worth a second viewing. I promise.

07/25/09 Mildly Retarded

Shotgun Blast To The Vajayjay

All I can think about is the people who jack off to this shit. I envision a crowd of a thousand Japs in a dimly lit adult theater, simultaneously ejaculating just as the girl's vagina gets blown into oblivion by a point-blank blast from a 12 guage. Enthusiastic high fives, everywhere.

07/07/09 Bizarre

A Unique Friendship

Way too homoerotic for my taste, but I did get a laugh out of his 'grand finale' and the excessive use of the word "bro". Watch all the way through and you'll understand.

07/02/09 Bizarre

Extreme Anal Maintenance

If only my girlfriend shared her habits... maybe then I wouldn't end up with shit in my urethra 3 times a week.

07/01/09 Bizarre

Fuck The Shit Out Of Me

Ask, and ye shall recieve. I learned that in bible club

05/30/09 Orgasms

The Most Obnoxious Bitch In Porn

I don't really give a fuck what anyone else has to say... domestic violence is always a solution. I'd pimp slap that bitch all the way back into the 80's, a time when her David Bowie hairdo was actually fashionable.

05/18/09 Fail

Orgasm Renders Wife Unconscious

Neat trick but I'm afraid I lack the penis for the job. No worries though, that's where the GHB comes into play. It's all about equal opportunity fellas.

05/13/09 Orgasms

Vocal Vagina

It can talk. Pretty sure I saw it spit a few times too.

04/28/09 Gape

Why You Motherfucker

Hottest thing I've seen all day.

04/23/09 Vintage

1 Guy 1 Screwdriver

Poor fella. First his cornhole and now his jimmy jammy. Only one sexual organ left to destroy - el huevos. See ya in another 3 months buddy. Okay now all of you go join the eFukt forum. The dude in these videos posts on there. For realz.

04/19/09 Extreme
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