Fuck, that's a hell of a way to mop a floor. It's inspiring really. So how exactly would one apply this kind of creativity to cleaning up their bathroom? I've got shit stains on my toilet dating back from 1997 and the only way I'm gonna get off my ass and do something about it is if it involves a naked woman.
This is why I carry a 12oz bottle of my mace in my center console. Rest stops are great for quick 'on the road' jackoff sessions but they're almost always laden with dirty old men looking to score free peep shows. If they want to see me make love to myself, they gotta pay... otherwise it's mace to the face.
Anally penetrating a Ukrainian hooker while watching Mrs. Doubtfire has been on my to-do list for ages, but it looks like this crazy motherfucker beat me to it. Oh well, I'll still always be the 1st person ever to receive a blumpkin whilst playing Command & Conquer: Tiberian Dawn. Wasn't easy.
A few tit jobs and a little lipo, and then BAM... her vagina will be generating 7 figures annually before you even know it. It'll also be generating a yellowish discharge, depending on the severity of the Herpes and Gonorrhea that she's bound to contract.
Cocks like this ought to be illegal, punishable by castration. Anything above 13 inches has got to go. They'll poke your eye out, prolapse your ass and leave with you a cocktail of STD's.
Wrong hole? No not quite. More like wrong fucking direction. His cock nearly pierces through the piece of skin seperating her ass from her pussy. Remember the 'chestburster' scene from Alien? Just watch...
Just close your eyes and listen to the audio. Only time I've heard a man make sounds like that was in Al-Qaeda beheading video. See more from this awesome couple here: 1, 2 and 3.
Just imagine if that was an unneutered Golden Retriever... I think wifey would've quickly gained a strong understanding of the term "unwanted threesome".
Aye carumba! Nice elephant cock dood! But I forsee 1 little problem... the only creatures with big enough holes for you to fuck are large horses and gay pornstars who've been subjected to olympian gangbangs. Tough break bro!
In the past few months the "how to make a girl cum" video has received over a million views. One of those viewers tested out the technique on his girlfriend and sent us footage of the results. Pretty cool!
Since this was one of the most popular videos on eFukt, I decided to repost a longer and better quality version of it. I like how the anorexic goth kid wearing eyeliner has a dick big enough to put most male pornstars to shame. See more HERE and HERE.
Fuck, I remember downloading this video off of Napster back in 1999. It taught me the pussy eating skills that I have today and is directly responsible for dozens of sexually satisfied BBW's worldwide.
Her asshole is ambushed by a giant cock but she manages to evade the intruder. Her anal virginity is safe for now... until the camerman can come up with another $100.
There is a new threat out there to hookers worldwide. It isn't HIV or the police, it's a dirty old man named Douglas who has made an art form out of verbally degrading prostitutes lol.
This housewife expresses concern about shit getting on her husbands cock as they try anal for the 1st time. I wouldn't worry much, ATM solves everything.
