Mission Impossible: Dont Cum

5,322,146 views

Goofy motherfucker works feverishly to prevent his pudding pop from premature eruption, and seemingly succeeds thanks to a few self inflicted cock slaps and more breaks than a Mexican landscaper.

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goon cave [plural goon caves] [Internet slang] An area or room dedicated to long masturbation sessions ["gooning"], often featuring a multi-monitor setup showing multiple pornographic contents simultaneously.


That's what Wikipedia tells you. What it doesn't tell you is some of these level 5 knuckle busting crotch goblins will bulldoze their entire savings account just to "expand their caves". So why are Americans singled out in the title? Because after being assaulted by over 500 photos of these demons, I noticed something; Not 1 Asian, Black, Hispanic or Alaskan Eskimo penis could be identified. Meaning this is yet another one of those spirited hobbies cultivated by the west. Feel free to sandwich it between 40 piece McNuggets and The Kardashians. [SOURCE #1] [SOURCE #2]

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THEY JUST WATCHED?

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