Drivethru Facial

"TAKE IT OUT NOW!"

Hey Daddy, look what I can do!

Any college girl can pull off a DP, but to pull off near mythical feats of penetration you need a chick that's on a whole other level of promiscuous. Take Malibu Barbie over here, she can't even tell how many cocks are in her at any given time.

He Only Has One Rule

Dude looks like he walked into a tattoo parlor and said "yes". Luckily he's hung like a brontosaurus to round out these constructive life decisions. Not sure I was expecting that twist at the end though. Kinda reinforcing the whole don't judge a book by it's cover thing, aren't we?

"Orb Challenge" Almost Ruptures Cervix

Got one too many (see: 3) emails about this particular wildebeest seen in Unacceptable Devices VIII, so here's the full[er] version for the special kind of miscreant that prefers to end his No Nutting November with some class.

CAMTASTROPHES #7

If anything you should watch this for the last scene. In less than 3 minutes, this duo gave us enough character development, story twists and cliffhanger endings to last two seasons on Netflix. I will literally pay for the emergency room footage, DM me. Catch them live HERE.

NOTHING is Impossible

Pigs flying, A Manson Family Hanukkah special and clean underwear after all-you-can-eat Chinese food. These are all things I expected to see long before a man that has mastered the art of hands-free ejacs. Next time do it into the palm of a guy named Carlos. It's called the Puerto Rican Panhandle, I invented it.

Sit Your Whore Ass Down!

Original video HERE.

The Real Effects of Sexual Deprivation

Some of these cinnamon twist fuck chickens are kind of impressive. While most men will claim to inhale the caramel frappuccinos out of a 7/10 girl's shit basket just to say they were in the same room as them, these pioneers actually take action. This is the true duality of man.

How to Get Banned from the Military

Leaking classified information? Mumbling incoherent rants about setting third world countries on fire? Shit, even International Dick Cricket Infestation would have appeared on my list sooner than 1 Tinder gremlin subjecting herself to 31 separate 8-man gangbangs in the fucking barracks. Yet... here we are.

Awkward Asian Fellates 10 Dicks

I've never seen someone so happy to get gang banged in the mouth...but I guess anything beats being back home making soccer balls in the rice fields.

Banned From Arby's 4 Lyfe

After popping a molly (or 5) and getting fucked with a lawn chair, this girl realizes her dreams of being on worldstar are within grasp and totally goes for it. IMHO not worth the lifetime of shame without curly fries and roast beef.

The Art Of Hating Cum

Here it is. The Citizen Kane of ewww your semen tastes like Gene Wilder's deceased asshole. Actually, I'm not entirely sure whether or not Gene is deceased, but I trust that the implied mental image is effective all the same.