From the clearance section of BackPage.com comes an escort sporting bed bugs, a wonky titty, and a heart of gold. Her entire scene is just one giant cluster fuck disaster of fail and it's beautiful.
Lulz tier verbal diarrhea from the worlds top whores. It's a good thing emotional scars aren't visible on the outside or some these girls would look like Freddy Krueger.
Here it is. The Citizen Kane of ewww your semen tastes like Gene Wilder's deceased asshole. Actually, I'm not entirely sure whether or not Gene is deceased, but I trust that the implied mental image is effective all the same.
If you haven't already, check out the rest of the series and then come back. We're going to meet a girl who has never blowjob'd before, plus a man who has a breakdown. While fucking a cake. So go get your little sister 'cause it's gonna be a really swag time.
Not much is worse (or funnier) than an unexpected penis bashing some hoer O-ring with little forewarning or lube. Ideally, zero forewarning and zero lubes.
Five possibly boner killing clips from otherwise decent porn scenes. Featuring a magic penis that gives a girl the ability to communicate with water mammals as well as an unconscious teenager and another that cries.
A decade's worth of restrained self-owning content? It happened. From the archives of bang bus'ing to the 360p days of MFC and everything in between; This is the nonsense they wanted shelved until the end of time.
Giantess hand fetishes, assholes sponsored by Nickelodeon Gak and even a sneak preview of Street Fighter 6's in game graphics. This video has more diversity than a community college... but the shame. You can't graduate from that. [PART I]
There's only two people on Earth that should never be caught fishing for brown trouts: Lindsay Lohan in her 'i'll snort Tide Pods' phase, and this chick. She's 19, anti-semen and dumber than a mailbox on Sunday. In other words: she was BORN for eFukt.
A heart warming moment when a pretty cam slut, who happens to sound like MadTV's Stuart, drops jaw and flips her shit when she unexpectedly squirts for the first time in her life.
There's 3 things that simply no longer exist in my world: 1) pornography induced erections 2) positive feedback on my 'this is what a feminist looks like' tee and 3) dinners at P.F. Changs that do NOT result in 1st degree burns to my anus. This vid solved 2 outta 3.
Working the graveyard shift usually sucks Golden Retriever dick, but it's not entirely absent of perks. During my tenure at the 24 hour Rite Aid, I enjoyed a 10% increase in pay and unadulterated access to the ice cream station. But as for complimentary blowjobs from tresspassing prostitutes... that one's all up to this smooth talking Apu.
