Lonely Arab REALLY Wants Free Head

2,300,907 views

Working the graveyard shift usually sucks Golden Retriever dick, but it's not entirely absent of perks. During my tenure at the 24 hour Rite Aid, I enjoyed a 10% increase in pay and unadulterated access to the ice cream station. But as for complimentary blowjobs from tresspassing prostitutes... that one's all up to this smooth talking Apu.

Uploaded 02/19/12 LULZ

idk what these goofballs were thinking when they decided going public with these acts of treason was a good idea. Something about the return on investment seems a little fucky. Possibly a decision sponsored and brought to you by [Prime™] Energy drinks. [-PART 1-]

1,948,601 views 08/03/23 Premature

MOTHER FUCKING T-REX!

Fun Fact: ~~Herpetophiliacs~~ Paleontologists don't really know how big a tyrannosaurus rex's penis actually was. Estimations are somewhere between 10 inches and 12 feet.

2,623,703 views 08/17/16 CamSoda Camwhores

You Wanna be a Pornstar? FOR REAL?

Some will click this and see a beautiful human being. Others will acid bath their routers & set themselves on fire knowing they've achieved less vaginal supremacy than a guy commonly mistaken for memory foam. Choose your own destiny.

2,112,747 views 05/27/18 Hand Job Winner LULZ

Shy, Scared & Fucking Beautiful

Hot chicks + social anxiety. It's a phenomenal combination, second only to Mr. Pibb w/ Koala Yummies. Add a degree of sexual inexperience into the mix and you got yourself GF material, provided that they don't first end up in porn like this tard.

9,435,155 views 10/04/12 Matt's Models Favorites

THIS WON'T LAST 24HRS

9,131 views 05/16/24

The Girlfriend Experience

And by experience, I mean one man blowing up his beer money on the kind of sexual endeavor that would shell shock a Vietnam war veteran. Speaking of blowing up: The only thing missing from that slaughter house between her legs is someone in the background screaming wUrLstAr and Floyd Mayweather coming out of retirement to fight it.

2,084,381 views 11/18/20 Horror Porn Loose

The Most Powerful Ass in Brazil

After years of being bullied about her great big ass, Guadalupe finally snapped, embraced it and now uses it as a weapon. Srsly tho, this South American girl's ass has gotta set some sort of world record. BOOOOOOOOOOOOMMM

2,079,630 views 12/12/15 Strippers

Awful Moments in Internet Pornography

A public service announcement on the cons and cons of searching for costars in Craigslist's general section. If their intimate relationship with $5 scratch off tickets doesn't erect your cock, the aroma of Newport Menthols probably will.

1,247,265 views 01/05/23 LULZ

CAMTASTROPHES #10

It's all giggles until you hit 5:15. My advice? Be less worried about token counts and more concerned with whatever off-road vehicle ran that thing over and fled the scene. The fuck is going on down there? And more importantly, how many Tremors movies are we up to now?

1,814,392 views 10/26/23 CAMTASTROPHES

The Regret is REAL

From stone cold fox, to Stone Cold Steve Austin. #fap

3,024,722 views 09/18/18 LULZ

Awkward Moments in Porn 13

Pork sword bros break the first rule in Ghostbusters 101, clown horn honking gets a new identity and whatever the fuck fight the girl at 1:12 is practicing for is something I feel should be featured on this site in the future. Somebody fetch my finest Walmart polyester linen, I wish to ejaculate.

2,113,523 views 06/16/22 Awkward Moments In Porn

The Purge

She seems like a nice girl. The type that would throw herself off a post office rooftop if you missed her text, or fuck the mailman's chihuahua if your Instagram pic got 0 likes. But her taste in recreational activities? Shit, I've seen happier faces cleaning toilets at the Renaissance Fair.

1,849,518 views 02/01/19 Fisting