Meet Luciana. aka Timea Bella. aka Indisputable Liar. She claims her stink whistle has less mileage on it than the Peloton in Ozzy Osbourne's basement, yet doesn't even call a timeout when Woody goes straight to the A. But when it comes time to sample some French vanilla, she calls it quits. Stay tuned for part 2 where I'll showcase her triumphant comeback.
I'll admit that last clip might be enough to ruin your holiday feast later today. But it's Thanksgiving and you probably need something to talk to grandma about before the sweet potatoes hit the table. You should be thanking me, Mortimer. [PART I] [PART II]
The first 60 seconds of this contains a cluster of words that have absolutely no business being chained together in that order. In fact, in my native language just about every single thing out of her talking hole would be considered a grievance offense. (i speak english)
Today, a 19-year-old works their way into college and learns shit like Trigonometry, or Sudanese Rectal Massage Theory. Others are in it for the networking. Me? I moved to skidrow and documented hobos smoking meth while performing communal rimjobs. Revolutionary at the time... but even I never witnessed the fabled "Hammer Head" seen here. GL HF
[MAKE SURE YOU WATCH PART 1 FIRST] Here it is. A live demonstration of what may be the very first evidence that sexually transmitted diseases are a conspiracy. Freddie Mercury: I'm going to get you the justice you deserve.
The strange tale of how an alleged rapist wife beater got his penis severed and became a porn star. John Wayne Bobbitt has suffered every man's worst nightmare and accomplished most guy's wildest dream. [FULL STORY]
A special service bulletin for the female viewer(s). Next time you feel like exposing your rotten tator tot to the general public, read a couple chapters of Everything I Know About Women I Learned From My Tractor by Roger Welsch first. Maybe you'll find what's missing in your life.
A couple of yahoos get caught mashin potatoes during happy hour. Not very conspicuous about it either. Remember that one weirdo in school that always dropped his pants to the floor in front of the urinal? This is what happens when he grows up.
Not since the 2005 release of 1 Night In Chyna have I seen a woman with such a fucked up misunderstanding of eroticism. She grunts like pirate, pisses all over the place, and has a finishing act that'll assfuck your brain cells.
In today's episode of Things You Shouldn't Cram Up Your Asshole, we're being educated by a trio of goofys who had no backup plan when their gargantuan sex toy decided to swim into deeper waters. Dude's first response? "I'm gonna fuck it while it's in there". Pure poetry. [more here]
