I know what you're thinking... 'Wow, Ozzy Osbourne's daughter is looking better than ever.' No, this McPoyles lookalike from Always Sunny with the Spanish word for witch tatted on her stomach is a model... or some shit.
Undoubtedly the most erotic thing I've seen since responding to an OKCupid message from a girl named The Violator. Results were similar if you replace 'cumshot' with 'Hellmans Tartar Sauce'. And 'private affair' with 'Burger King during rush hour'.
Bob is the type of dude that wears gas station sunglasses indoors and shouts "WOOOO" when excited. Bob has also finally gathered the $315 necessary to fulfill a life long fantasy of his, AKA "The Most Fail Interracial Porn In History".
You know you had fun when the next day you wake up with a concussion and realize you not only left your phone, but you also forgot your clothes, underwear, sunglasses and self-respect at the club.
Easily the most try-hard bogus bullshit performances I've seen since YouTube's 'social experiment' revolution went off the rails. I have to point out though: nobody was injured, student loans were paid and girl #1's convulsions can double as a permanent case study for epilepsy. #win
Turns out 67,000 incestuous storyline porn videos lied to us after all. Dare to make contact with your bloodline after the sun goes down in rural Alabama, and one of these clips just might be the Tales From the Crypt Halloween Special you walk in on.
Fangirl shits pinecones after overhearing pornstar Brian Pumper refer to her as a 'bitch'. Blows are exchanged & shit gets ugly, but the real battle is all verbal, with ego-busting insults like "u think i wud tweet about u? I FUCK MOOLIONAIRES NIGGUH". Fucking brutal.
For a hooker/pornstar, she honestly seems like one of the nicest people ever. Even if her butthole looks like the queen alien from "Starship Troopers" and possibly carries multiple strains of the same venereal diseases.
Working the graveyard shift usually sucks Golden Retriever dick, but it's not entirely absent of perks. During my tenure at the 24 hour Rite Aid, I enjoyed a 10% increase in pay and unadulterated access to the ice cream station. But as for complimentary blowjobs from tresspassing prostitutes... that one's all up to this smooth talking Apu.
We're all too familiar with premature ejaculators, but what about latent ejaculation? Watch as Sum Dum Ho starts cumming an entire minute after intercourse is completed without even being touched. WTF?
