The Most Powerful Ass in Brazil

Chuck Berry Farting On Hookers

"I like to do that" - Chuck Berry

Ratchet Stripper Goes Mental

She goes by Cocoa, China, or some shit down at the Snake Charmer Gentlemen's Club. She's a nice girl working her way through college and in her off time she enjoys bath salts and Waffle House.

The Most Fucked Up Game Show Ever

Long before there was "help me stepbro!", there was "have you ever seen your mom naked?". The difference? People wouldn't (normally) contaminate a box of Kleenex's finest to radio shows. Social media was and still is our biggest evolutionary mistake.

How to Seduce a Black Woman

Step 1: Have the genetics of a Ugandan warrior Step 2: The good mustard Step 3: Repeat

Fake Stripper High On Pharmaceuticals

Babbles the pornstar takes too much of something before ruining a scene where she plays a patron fucking stripper. Also featuring an awkward dude and his borderline gay friend as "the stripper fuckers".

I HATE CUM 5

Much like the Fast and Furious franchise, this series went from "what the fuck am I watching" to How do we get John Cena into one of these scenes? pretty damn quick. The tipping point involves Morgan Lee's last hurrah before someone convinced her to bootleg Lil Wayno songs. And no, you can't unsee that either.

Deaf Azn Girl

Meet Kim, the bombshell Azn who can't hear shit. Our genius porn hero guy figures to write down "me want fukky fukky" on paper and away we go. She only makes little soft vowel noises, it's pretty adorable.

SHE HAS LIMITS?

So Bad He Had to Quit

Symptom #293 you need to put an end to the all-turnip and MDMA diet: You develop the sex drive of a cinder block followed by the kind of speech impediment that could end a marriage in Alabama. But rather than seek Dr. Phil's help, you do this instead.

Porn Star Goes Ballistic on Modern Feminists

Mercedes Carrera is hot and sucks a mean dick, but she's about to drop a big ass fuckin truth bomb on the problem with feminists, gamergate and all that shit.

The Caught Compilation 1

This piece highlights some cases of shoulda locked the fucking door but I'm thinking with my genitals and other hilarious cases of people getting busted.

The Discomfort Zone

You know the deal: It's the height of the pandemic and funds are circling the drain. So you hit up the local videographers and offer your services to the highest bidder. I_CUM_HELLMANS hits up your DM's on Reddit and now the smell never washes off. GG NO RE