Cute Face, Ugly Vagina

The Absolute Worst of Pornhub V

A rousing assembly of women that don't believe teh night is over until their clout levels have reached unmeasurable proportions. Reminiscent of a reoccurring dream I keep having involving Brock Lesnar and Long John Silver’s Cocktail Sauce.

Philanthropy isn't Dead

I'm not even phased by empty-calorie diet plan Okinawa constantly subjects me to anymore. What really twists my biscuits is the lack of followup to these videos. idk what monster this T-Virus will turn them into, but we probably don't have enough ammo to kill them.

Just Japanese Things

An all-minority female cast ultimately leading to me losing faith in life itself? You can go ahead and file this under The 2016 Ghostbusters Reboot of Porn. And Bill Murray can't save you this time.

This Doesnt Make You Good At Sex

Not since the 2005 release of 1 Night In Chyna have I seen a woman with such a fucked up misunderstanding of eroticism. She grunts like pirate with stage 4 throat cancer, pisses all over the place, and has a finishing act that'll assfuck your brain cells.

Awkward Moments in Porn 9

Homing in on the 10-clip anniversary of offensive sexual acts among a global pandemic, and yet I remain hopeful. I mean hopeful that people in quarantine will continue to produce more reprehensible content than a Harvey Weinstein video library, not the Covid stuff - we're fucked. Like the guy in the first clip: Fap until it goes dark.

18 Year Old Barely Survives Anal Rampage

At first I was positive this was the same woman that keeps invading my Instagram feed with videos about blowing circus clowns and publicly shaming herself for having the vaginal odor of a Sudanese outhouse. But her (un)puckered starburst having the towing capacity of a Dodge Ram 3500 proved otherwise.

"CRIPPLE MY WIFE"

Awkward Asian Fellates 10 Dicks

I've never seen someone so happy to get gang banged in the mouth...but I guess anything beats being back home making soccer balls in the rice fields.

BUT I'M A VIRGIN!

The "Demon Pussy" girl is back in a new adventure in potentially one of the best and most retarded scripted porn scenes ever. Kevin Smith is sure to cum buckets over the dialogue alone.

American History XXX

The Only Olympics I'm Watching in 2024

I wasn't intending on the ambiguous crossover of Tokyo and The Kentucky Derby to make my boner list... yet here we are.

Creating the Perfect Woman

There's just no forgetting you did something like this. Their throats will be forever agaped. The chronic oral queefing has already set in. They're essentially walking, talking whoopie cushions and yet... they remain in good spirits. I like dat in a partner.