HARDER! Or I Cant Cum!

MOTHER FUCKING T-REX!

Fun Fact: Herpetophiliacs Paleontologists don't really know how big a tyrannosaurus rex's penis actually was. Estimations are somewhere between 10 inches and 12 feet.

Can't Stop The Cumshots 4

One indisputable fact of life: Crossbreeding Arnold Schwarzenegger with anything will instantly improve it in every way. Even an extraordinarily overhyped meme girl that surprisingly, hasn't made me want to pull my third ball off (yet). Here's to those 15 minutes lasting another 5. PARTS: [-1-] [-2-] [-3-]

13 INCHER = RIDICULOUS ORGASM

Two petite Asians get the fried rice fucked out of em.

Cum Haters 2023B

Browse the catalogue of Day-1 pornstars long enough and you're sure to end up finding women that treat getting hit with a couple of snowballs is akin to being put in front of a North Korean firing squad. And today my friends, there is no exception. More here.

Breakdown BEFORE The Anal?

We're about to document the dream of a girl that's had more sexual partners than Tom Brady's 2022 passing yards, or create the gentleman's guide to recreational pharmaceutical use. Either way: NO REFUNDS.

The Absolute Worst of Pornhub II

Giantess hand fetishes, assholes sponsored by Nickelodeon Gak and even a sneak preview of Street Fighter 6's in game graphics. This video has more diversity than a community college... but the shame. You can't graduate from that. [PART I]

Marriage Couldn't Survive This Cuckold

You don't have to be a full blown beta to experience this level of salami sloshing. Just find a girl that's sexually attracted to Amibos & the lifetime bans from all major entertainment venues will flow in faster than you can complain about them on Twitter. We may be at the point where the rise of this fetish needs clinical studying.

INCREDIBLE: 3 Orgasms in 90 Seconds

A truly beautiful ballad about a girl that makes pterodactyl sex noises and a man that pulls off one of the most amazing sexual achievements ever filmed. I think we all wish we had a little Jimmy in us.

Ultra Alpha

Would Denmark Mafia be so kind as to turn the soundbyte at 0:24 into their next banger? That's the kind of collaboration that can fuel my beat-off sessions all the way into spring. More Woodman HERE and HERE.

SHE'S FUCKIN PERFECT

Asian vs. Airsoft

Some wisdom I picked up during my 2 hour stakeout of a monster truck rally bathroom: You get what you pay for. And by the looks of those potato-sized welts taking up residence next to her shithole, I'd say this dude used Groupon at the time of service.

The Worst of OnlyFanz

onlyfanz: Some sign up to get a girl through hard times. Others are forced after capitulating an attempt to pay prostitutes in Wendy's coupons. They all start off good, but much like me during Terminator Dark Fate, it only takes 27 seconds to realize you just wasted your money.