Some people have no business in porn. Namely fat people, horses and that dumb cunt from Teen Mom. Today the blacklist gets a little longer with the introduction of this innocuous fucktard. He has the sexual prowess of a catatonic sloth and acting skills so bad Dolph Lundgren's head would implode. Download the full video here.
These porn producers, always so preoccupied with if they could, but never stopping to wonder if they should. I can't even imagine how awkward this scene must of been to film for everyone involved. Full Scene: HERE.
Aspiring whore confesses to beastial relations with family pets and a lingering desire to suck off Mr. Ed, but when the idea of sleeping with a black man is proposed.. she balks! LOL @ Max Hardcore's random cameo, criticizing her weight and declaring her unfit for a golden shower.
Great news folks! Getting fucked by their horse's 18 inch cock is no longer a prerequisite for new applicants. The only requirement now is just a meager fellatio session with one of their five dogs. Hell of an opportunity!
Luckily I'll never be exposed to such humiliation at the hands of a woman, for in my hometown of Tajikistan it's a criminal offense to mock a man's penis size, punishable by decapitation via serrated butter knife. But that's not to say a woman would ever have any reason to shame my kidney cracker to begin with. Trust me, I put horses to shame.
Honestly, less than 1% of the shit I post actually makes me LOL. Anal prolapses and horse porn bloopers just don't seem to do it for me anymore. But jesus... the second I heard this guy blow ass in the opening sequence I LOL'd so hard my eyes started watering like an emo kid listening to Dashboard Confessional.
Aye carumba! Nice elephant cock dood! But I forsee 1 little problem... the only creatures with big enough holes for you to fuck are large horses and gay pornstars who've been subjected to olympian gangbangs. Tough break bro!