These awful pornographic gems were all attempted with eroticism as a goal. I.E. People were somehow meant to masturbate to this shit, but what these clips lack in fap value they make up for with lulz.
All I ask is to watch and promise to never replicate. Especially that indoor power washing in the last video. One wrong push and you run the risk of turning the thunderstorm into a full blown shit shower. I call it "the heat seeking carmel farmer" and it's the #3 reason for divorce. Right behind finances and sending an application to Lily Philips.
2004: Facebook launches for the first time, Ashlee Simpson jigged her way into irrelevancy and this jovial mother fucker was using his power of aspergers to give second stringers a reason to show up on set. Half girth, half Pokemon.
Meet Ava. She's 19, highly optimistic and isn't afraid of a challenge. Unfortunately only two situations leave a person with this kind of mess to clean up. Post-anal or post-white castle? You be the judge.
The girl is [-Kesha Ortega-]. Well known. Built like a wood chipper. But the dude; He's just a bystander trying his best to appreciate the fine arts when he gets hurled into the role he was born to play. It's cinema really.
Let me tell you something people. I've been doing this a long time, maybe even longer then some of you have been alive. And I can honestly say this is the first time I feared a studio would be sued by George Lucas for infringing on his design for the Sarlacc. For the love of fuck, prepare yourself.
This girl will either steal your heart like it originally belonged to her anyway or annoy you into destroying something beautiful. For me it was her strong beliefs on pokemon and those back dimples that melted my cold heart.
Nevermind the fact that she talks like a slightly upgraded version of Stan's sister. What I really want to know is where this current trend of bodily fluids being used as a sole protein source started from. And I want to know now.
If you're the kind of person that can enjoy peak sigma male behavior, then this is the video for you. I'm talking the kind of blueprint that guy who used to dress up as a latex demon and run into the woods to shove leaves up his ass couldn't follow. (seriously, email me if you remember his name. iykyk) More HERE
We're talking girth here. It's not often you see [siswet] tap out. At one point in time I was convinced this woman's asshole was going to be the solution to New York City's parking shortages. Now I see even the grand canyon itself has a capacity limit. Never meet your heros.
