If there's one thing that never fails to get me questioning the future of this whole human race experiment; it's what the most unassuming person will consider a sexual accessory. So here's about 6 of them. That's right, six. As in the number of times I replayed the noise that Pringles can made when ricocheting off her head.
A rousing assembly of women that don't believe teh night is over until their clout levels have reached unmeasurable proportions. Reminiscent of a reoccurring dream I keep having involving Brock Lesnar and Long John Silver’s Cocktail Sauce.
For the greater good of porn these basement dwelling wannabe's need the Lassie treatment. These guys thinking they have what it takes to be porn stars makes as much sense as the story line for "Sharknado".
Unsuspecting women being seminally disenfranchised: It's a practice older than time itself. But I think the soccer mom in the opening clip is still seeking therapy. I've seen girls performing "The Manchurian Gas Mask" with less animosity in their walk-offs.
Ariana Jollee gets a tad bit emo on the set of Neo Pornographia 2 after receiving a bitchslap 'one million times harder' that what she was expecting. This quote sums it up pretty well: "this is sex, this isnt fucking beating people". I think she's on to something here.
Don't let the half-assed attempt at blurring out Jackin' Jerry's face fool you; The situation may very well be authentic. Such as illustrated by our power couple having more will to finish the story than Cody Rhodes. English translation possibly done by David Lynch.
A scene gets a little too intense for Lexi when her costar bitch slaps the valtrex out of her face. After which her costar turned assailant keeps asking her "are you ok?"
It truly never ends. Let's just label this one the Shawshank Redemption of "wtf, your load tastes like Alan Greenspan's deceased asshole" Alan probably isn't actually dead, but I trust that the implied mental image is still effective. Game on.
Nothing says alphachad like asserting dominance over affordable footwear. Special shoutout to Elon's protege's in the 2nd to last clip. Some go electric to save the planet. Others, to tell oil to fuck off. And then there's Winona Wonderpuss: Who needs to be one faulty sensor away from getting a steering wheel colonoscopy to reach her maximum cum-face. #respect
Twice as many as five porn scenes that leave you with more questions than answers and more confusion than boners.
Some of you may be asking the question: "How the hell did it take you so long to get something together for [Hannah Hays]? The fuckin story writes itself.". Honestly... it's overwhelming. Her rabbit hole seems to have more alternate endings than Baldur’s Gate 3.
He came packing a mullet, social-awkwardness and the bodytype/skintone of a marsh mellow with prescription glasses. But that day back in 1998, he was a God for 10 minutes at a gentleman's club in Arkansas.
As we head towards the final sunset of a year that gave more than one reason to disembowel our own eyeballs with a stinger missile, it's time we reflected. May 2024 bestow upon us more trolls, deeper holes and Twitch.com finishing it's metamorphosis into Chaturbate.
One determined woman's mission to have her guts turned into a holiday display at Home Goods is actually thwarted by a director that specializes in mawmaw's chicken casserole. She wants to continue, he makes her hit the showers... and a new dynamic in butthole malfeasance porn is born.
Of all the story lines you could choose, expedited shipping would be last on my fucking list. Then again, so is paying autistic girls in gift cards to round out your threesome so maybe I don't see the vision. Perhaps decades of inbreeding and limiting toothbrush ownership to 1 per home has carved itself into a niche I can only describe as: Inflation-Friendly Walmart Porn.
What weighs 325 pounds, has hair worse than Phil Spector, and secretly enjoys getting karate-kicked in the appendix while ripping ass? This chick's 798th fuck buddy, and he's not even the worst of the bunch.
A disgruntled pornstar is having a bad day, and everything that comes out of this thot's mouth is either penis related or comedy gold. She non-stop says crazy shit until her co-stars feel forced to shut her up.
Premature ejaculation is funny. People trying to combat premature ejaculation is funnier. Notable examples: A) pipe squeezer and B) focusing on dog shit. Today we introduce a new, equally fucking retarded method for countering early evac. It's called sniffin your costars asshole. And unless the bitch just shit out 4 baconators, it wont work.
Here it is. Round 2 in what is arguably the most offensive thing you can do in public besides mothershipping the handicap stall at Baskin Robbins. But unlike those shit gremlins - these titans of societal norms actually film the entire thing.
What in the cornbread skidmark hell is going on with this generation? Once upon a time having the genetic configuration of a Madagascar tomato frog would limit your partners to Walmart shoppers. Now? No one even pumps the brakes. Support [HERE] [HERE] and [HERE]
