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Molested At Lunch Time

This is a scene from some stupid French porno called The Image. Stars that old bitch from 101 Dalmations as some sort of empowered cunt that likes to dominate. Kinda funny but not really my cup of tea. I was raised on the notion that degradation is a man's job.

09/16/09 Groped

Sharing Is Caring

Snowballing? Fuck that. I'd rather toss my girlfriend's salad directly after shitting out 2 pounds of kung pao chicken than be orally introduced to my own man jam. Too many calories bro.

09/14/09 LULZ

Anal With Constipated Girlfriend

I'm always one step ahead of female biology. When I wanna ass fuck a woman, I simply lace her Cinnamon Toast Crunch with ex-lax. Come night fall, her cornhole is as empty as Tara Reid's head. Works every time.

09/09/09 LULZ

The Sex Offender Strikes Back

Interesting choice in victims. Random hot chicks, disabled senior citizens, and now ambulance drivers. Variety really is the spice of life.

08/12/09 Exhibition

The Sex Life Of A Dwarf

Repost? Technically yes. But the addition of Beetlejuice getting titty-blasted by some random bitch makes it well worth a second viewing. I promise.

07/25/09 Mildly Retarded

Life Support Porn

I've officially seen it all. Well, almost. Still waiting on that Brian Peppers sextape to surface. Till then, my hunt for fucked up porno treasure goes on.

07/12/09 Mildly Retarded

Orgasm At The Gym

You're supposed to wipe down the machine with a towel before you leave, dickhead.

07/10/09 Public

Is This Your Son

He's got a 2 inch penis and a hard-on for mommy. Definitely a daily efukt visitor.

07/09/09 LULZ

Gone With The Wind

It's a bird. It's a plane. It's.... two thinly sliced pieces of USDA Select Grade roast beef attached to a big titted slut.

07/08/09 Brazzers LULZ

Shotgun Blast To The Vajayjay

All I can think about is the people who jack off to this shit. I envision a crowd of a thousand Japs in a dimly lit adult theater, simultaneously ejaculating just as the girl's vagina gets blown into oblivion by a point-blank blast from a 12 guage. Enthusiastic high fives, everywhere.

07/07/09 Bizarre

A Unique Friendship

Way too homoerotic for my taste, but I did get a laugh out of his 'grand finale' and the excessive use of the word "bro". Watch all the way through and you'll understand.

07/02/09 Bizarre

Extreme Anal Maintenance

God damn. If only my girlfriend shared her habits... maybe then I wouldn't end up with shit in my urethra 3 times a week.

07/01/09 Bizarre

1 Girl Vs. 100 Horny Men

It's like watching the Discovery Channel. Ya know... the one where 5000 ants take down a mouse. Except this one will make your penis wiggle.

06/13/09 Groped

Not Your Typical Pornstar

He's got a viking haircut, a 7.5 inch cock and the pussy-eating skills of a Golden Retriever. The porn industry will never be the same.

06/08/09 Mildly Retarded

Gigantic Genitalia

I'm about to take a hot shower and fap to my Elton John's Greatest Hits CD. I'll type up a video description a bit later, k?

06/04/09 Asians

All Girls Love Assholes

Especially fat ones. Dinner time!

05/28/09 Amateur

When Senior Citizens Attack

Had me ROFL'ing up until the point that he started bashing her face in like Mike Tyson. That was my cue to bust out the Jergens.

05/22/09 Vintage

The Most Obnoxious Bitch In Porn

I don't really give a fuck what anyone else has to say... domestic violence is always a solution. I'd pimp slap that bitch all the way back into the 80's, a time when her David Bowie hairdo was actually fashionable.

05/18/09 Fail

Vocal Vagina

It can talk. Pretty sure I saw it spit a few times too.

04/28/09 Gape

Why You Motherfucker

Hottest thing I've seen all day.

04/23/09 Vintage
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