Ok, maybe not the dumbest, but there'll always be 2nd place for the special little whore that went on cable TV to brag about spreading Chlamydia, smoking crack & sodomizing costars with uncooked meats.
He's socially inept and has B cup titties. How can life possibly get any worse? If you guessed 'make a porno, creep the living fuck out of the girl, blow your load in 4 seconds and end up all over the internet", you just won my inflatable Captain Planet sex doll.
I'm pretty sure I've just uncovered a new dialect. I shall dub it 'crackwhorian'. Much like Spanglish - it cannot be taught, only evoked. Japanese electronics and bull whip required.
I believe her first mistake was LOL'ing while getting passionately bulldozed by a 17 inch yogurt slinger. That kinda laughter tends to translate to one thing only - "your ion cannon does not phase me, please bash my ovaries harder". Invitation clearly accepted.
One man's quest for counterfeit Dockers ends with a lustrous rub n' tug, courtesy of Miss Swan, in what's quite possibly the only legitimate 'happy ending' video in existence. It's hard to turn a blind eye to the shrek factor of all ladies involved, but hey... at least it's real.
You know it's a hooker cause who else puts on a rubber just for s'ing some d? And you know it's his first time cause... well, just look at his face. Just one touch of his penis and he turns into Quasimoto with Asperger syndrome.
Ridiculous porno quote of the week: "make me into a worthless vegetable". Yeah well, her male counterpart certainly tried. But the end result was less Terri Schiavo and more Michael J. Fox. Yeah, I'm going to hell.
This one's a crowd pleaser. Not only get to see a massive-titted pornstar unwittingly suck a shit covered wang ... but you also to get hear three seconds of my real voice. Boner inducement on all fronts.
Cousin? Brother? Stepfather? How about all of the above. Not the slightest ounce of shame either. And when it comes to light that her brother/boyfriend did time in the pokey for murdering a person... all she can do is LOL. Definite keeper. Now watch her get DP'ed silly.
One man does in 30 seconds what 7 men couldnt do in 2 hours. His secret weapon? Jackrabbit-esque fucking. Lightening fast and kidney deep. Check the 1 minute mark. Her trembling lips and deer-in-headlights facial expression say it all. Ya did good kid.
No stimulation of the clit. No vibrator in the pussy hole. This is a woman that can legitimately cum her brains out from nothing more than a good ol' ass pounding. God bless.
Early model Dodge Caravan and intermediate family member not required. Just find yourself an open stretch of highway, enable cruise control, have the female shimmy on over and let the greasing of your piston begin.
CBT - it's generally the next step up for closet homosexuals that require more stimulation than what being fucked in the ass with a palm tree has to offer. I dont normally allow this type of material, but it's hard to say no to a video that features darwinism so prominently. Live & learn goober.
Ariana Jollee gets a tad bit emo on the set of Neo Pornographia 2 after receiving a bitchslap 'one million times harder' that what she was expecting. This quote sums it up pretty well: "this is sex, this isnt fucking beating people". I think she's on to something here.
Low res versions of this have been floating around the web for some time, so this might be old for some of you. Never the less, efukt has secured the HD version... so you can now watch Sindee Jennings puke her brains out in the absolutely highest quality available.
There's only 2 people in the world that cant tell when they're being anally penetrated. Stephen Hawking.. and this girl. She's 19, anti masturbation and dumber than a Billy Goat crossbred with Tila Tequila. She also wants to be a pornstar. God bless.
The one time Japan decides to not censor the genitals... they cast a girl with a Saarlac for a twat. Didn't see Return of the Jedi? Here's an alternative metaphor: Imagine Gene Simmons face, mouth ajar and tongue extended, reincarnated as Yoko Ono's twat. That ought to do it.
Aspiring whore confesses to beastial relations with family pets and a lingering desire to suck off Mr. Ed, but when the idea of sleeping with a black man is proposed.. she balks! LOL @ Max Hardcore's random cameo, criticizing her weight and declaring her unfit for a golden shower.
Tojo trades his neighbor a weeks worth of cup-o-noodles in exchange for a sensuous dicksuck. Here's the kicker: Tojo has the hygiene of Forest Whitaker's asshole. Dude simply does not shower. The end result is enough dick cheese to feed half of Mumbai.
Two best friends, both packing about as much meat as Earthworm Jim, head to the local glory hole for a good time. Penile deficient guy #1 gets laughed out the booth, while the 2nd is given a standing chance but ultimately lacks the inches neccessary for a practical performance. haha.
