Ridiculous porno quote of the week: "make me into a worthless vegetable". Yeah well, her male counterpart certainly tried. But the end result was less Terri Schiavo and more Michael J. Fox. Yeah, I'm going to hell.
Little engines that just fucking couldn't. If there was a "Special Olympics" for sexual performance, these guys would still be the underdogs of the league.
It truly never ends. Let's just label this one the Shawshank Redemption of "wtf, your load tastes like Alan Greenspan's deceased asshole" Alan probably isn't actually dead, but I trust that the implied mental image is still effective. Game on.
We're all too familiar with premature ejaculators, but what about latent ejaculation? Watch as she starts cumming an entire minute after intercourse is completed without even being touched. WTF?
Internet webcam hooker Bella Alice appears to suffer from acute reflex seizures triggered by sexual climax. She also uses a sound activated dildo that vibrates when people tip her which is funny af.
For a guy that regularly goes super saiyan on bench warming OnlyFans girls, you'd think he'd have a pretty consistently heterosexual record under his belt. Well... [more here]
Perhaps this can be classified as "small wiener compensation". It happens when homebois packing less meat than a vegetarian BBQ get discouraged by their girl's complete lack of excitement. Building a device that scalps your crotch is optional. Oh... you'll see.
Some women need a good meal and a text goodnight to reach their sexual peak. Others; a couple finger loops around the ole pastrami butterfly. And then there's [Vai] who will stop at nothing less than the full power of Optimus Prime to activate her O-face.
See that pretty face? Well, that's all you get because she's too busy getting seizure-fucked in the face by a cock raging french guy the entire clip to look at the camera. #rekt
Feast your eyes on a collection of o-faces so outlandish, it would be impossible to get a nut off in public without being caught. Especially if they are a distance shooter. Chances are they'll let loose near an active bus stop and catch one of the locals in the crossfire. It's called "The Cuban Waterslide" and I'm still paying the price for it to this day.
It's that time of year again. When degenerate girls jacked to the tits in daddy issues insist on doing it for tha gram but end up frail, fucked and forgotten. Not since the days of blindly acquiring porn ala 5600 baud Limewire have I come across a female with such anti-seminal fortitude.
